RUN ALL NIGHT (review)

Review by Caitlyn Thompson

Run. Run away. Run away all night.

I’m sorry for that cliché entrance into a review, but really.

RUN AWAY.

I’m sorry (but not sorry) for my sarcasm.

Run All Night is about nothing.

Two mob-type old men are old buddies, though Liam Neeson is haunted and seems to have always been Ed Harris’ bitch.

So they kill people.

But who cares why right? SO deep.

The movie is essentially a competition between whose voice is more raspy and deep.

Harris versus Neeson. Too old to fight, too old to be threatening.

Mr. Neeson, I know you’re a bad ass, but stop it. We know you’re a million years old.

And Ed Harris, come on, you were great in The History of Violence.  Should have left it at that, sir.

Please note, I’m not going to list character names here.

Just insert typical Irish names. It’s so cliché that it’s almost insulting.

To the “plot”.

The two old men have sons.

One is an idiot, the other is a family man. One resents his pop, the other hates his. Does it matter why? Not really.

So dumb son dies (not a spoiler if you’ve seen the trailer), and it’s all out war on the kind son. Trust daddy-Liam! He’ll get you through the night! Running, no, limping around the city.

Riiight. Sigh.

The film features the typical action-movie clichés: car chase scene, run-around-a-crowded-building scene, dodge an un-killable bounty hunter scene, shoot out scene, shoot out scene on train tracks, shoot out scene in the woods, and of course the outlandish Liam-walking-through-a-house-killing-every-bad-guy-without-blinking scene.

Come on. I knew going in this movie would be bad, but if it’s going to be this awful, at least make it comical.

Make it as ridiculous as The Boy Next Door so at least the audience can experience some decent laughter together.

Run All Night was just painful. And looong. Oh wow was it long. Really long. Watch this movie when it appears on FX in several months while you’re cooking dinner.

Giggle and mock it’s pointlessness.

I can’t say more. It’s exactly what you think it will be.

Bad.