‘Cry When The Baby Cries’

Written and Illustrated by Becky Barnicoat
Published by Gallery Books

My mother was 45 years old when I was born in 1959 and my father was a month away from turning 50!

I don’t know how they did it! Let me rephrase that. I don’t know how they handled raising me, flying blind with no instruction books!

That said, my wife and I had our only child in 1996.

We were in our mid-30s, and I don’t know how WE did it either! We had books, videos, good insurance, parenting coaches, classes, paternity leave, and medical experts every step of the way and it still felt like we were flying blind!

I guess that’s how I come to relate so much to the new graphic novel s by Becky Barnicoat. Although the author is based in England, so very much of the less talked about but universal aspects of pregnancy and toddler raising ring familiar. I may not have physically had to go through all of them like my wife, Rene, but I was there, and often had to deal with the fallout.

The book doesn’t pull any punches, whether from a gynecological point of view or just focusing on some of the…shall we say less attractive aspects of pregnancy and motherhood. The artwork is simplistic and endearingly cartoony throughout, and yet both the language and the art get fairly explicit at times, as it would be impossible to tell this particular story otherwise.

If you are a man who has never closely been through this important aspect of life with a woman, you will be lost, but you’ll definitely learn a few things about women.

If, like me, you’re a man who has gone through a pregnancy and raised a child alongside a woman, you’ll cringe in spots, cry in others, and laugh a lot at what were most likely long-suppressed memories by now.

In the true tradition of TMI, Becky shares everything with us—everything! From bathroom issues (hers and the baby’s) to playground issues to second baby issues! Rene and I eventually got the hang of raising one kid but we never had to deal with a second. As far as diaper-changing issues, I used to change our son in the trunk of our car. I’d have to take my long-sleeved shirt off and tie it snugly around my face before I could do it! (The only thing that smells worse than baby poop is cat food!

The book flows smoothly to a bittersweet ending following a miscarriage. Rene and I had to deal with that as well. Twice, in fact, on either side of our son. It’s heartbreaking, but you get through it, and somehow learn to appreciate life more because of the loss.

I asked Rene to read Cry When the Baby Cries, too. As she read, she would often point at pages and yell out, “Uh huh!” or “Yep!” or “Exactly!” As one who has actually lived it, I asked her to write a brief piece on her thoughts about the book. Here’s what she had to say:

“I began my journey into motherhood in a different generation and a different country than the author but this book tells a tale that all mothers can relate to. I especially connected with the stories concerning the checking of the cervix and breastfeeding and feel like the picture of the cave mother should be made into a poster to be given to all new moms.

“Cry When the Baby Cries should be used in sex education classes, presented to women at their first OB/GYN appointment, and given to grandmothers. It’s educational, humorous, and above all, absolutely true!”

 Thanks, sweetie.

Ms. Barnicoat, I feel for ya, but take solace in the fact that you not only survived to tell the tale but, in Cry When the Baby Cries, you’ve succeeded in creating the long-needed, totally relatable survival guide that will no doubt help educate young mothers (and fathers) in the realities of reproduction for decades to come.

Booksteve (and Mrs. Booksteve) recommend.