Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?


70s-Era Ronco Crafting Kits Made Me the Person I Am Today, And I Hate Them For It

By Elizabeth Weitz

I am a crafter.

Obviously not a good one as I don’t have an Etsy store and very few people actually buy the stuff I make which is kind of sad as I work really hard on this crap and would like to make some money so that I can continue to buy stuff off of Amazon that I don’t need to fill the empty void inside my soul caused by my lack of talent in the writing and crafting world.

It’s a vicious cycle.

Please Buy My Stuff

Of course, I could just give it up and get a hobby that doesn’t crush my spirit, but that goes against my self-destructive streak, so, I power through and continue to create small works of art that, when they don’t sell, usually end up going to friends who politely nod and thank me for adding to their garbage bins.

I hate my life.

 Or, more to the point, I hate Ronco.

Oh you know who they are, they are the ones who come up with products like: the Showtime Rotisserie, Hair-in-a-Can, the Electric Food Dehydrator and were a fierce competitor to K-Tel Records:

But the products that have caused my adverse feelings toward them (and which I deem directly responsible for fueling my soul-destroying crafting obsession) are those that came out when I was at my most vulnerable, my most easily swayed…the 1970s Ronco crafting kits which promised me that I could make a career out of attaching rhinestones to leather jackets.


And yes, when you are in your formative years and your babysitter at the time was Ronco Craft Crazy, you have no choice but to imprint on their seductive commercials and spend the remaining years of your life chasing after your dream of being a Speed Tufting rug maker:

Or the glamorous creator of colorful flower shawls and vests:

Or a glass artisan:

Or even the aforementioned rhinestone fashion designer:

But will you ever catch that dream? Become the kind of artist who can make wearing a rug look fashionable?


Instead you will spend your life failing at the craft game and end up on Zoloft for anxiety.

So thank you Ronco…thank you so much.

Now if you excuse me, I need glitter bomb a terracotta planter and shame-eat a box of Oreos.

Click to comment

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply


Forces of Geek is protected from liability under the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act) and “Safe Harbor” provisions.

All posts are submitted by volunteer contributors who have agreed to our Code of Conduct.

FOG! will disable users who knowingly commit plagiarism, piracy, trademark or copyright infringement.

Please contact us for expeditious removal of copyrighted/trademarked content.


In many cases free copies of media and merchandise were provided in exchange for an unbiased and honest review. The opinions shared on Forces of Geek are those of the individual author.

You May Also Like


Winner of the prestigious Golden Palm at the Cannes Film Festival (1976) and nominated for 4 Academy Awards including Best Picture (1976), TAXI DRIVER...


I never got my Quisp propeller beanie. Maybe I didn’t enclose enough boxtops, but it’s more likely that the Quaker Oats Company—manufacturer of the...


Garo Setian loves sci-fi movies. And not just the franchise juggernauts, but the ragamuffin strays spawned in their wake too. Though scrappier fare like...


Grubhub is bringing the highly-anticipated Prime Video series premiere of Fallout to life with the limited-edition Nuka-Blast Burger Meal. Featuring a one-of-a-kind collector’s delivery...