So… Sony made another superhero movie.
Or rather, they made the same uninspired, bland mess of a live action superhero movie they have been making for the past decade and a half in their misguided attempts to catch up with the MCU.
Having made the choice to focus on anti-heroes such as Venom and Morbius while Spider-Man has been on loan to Marvel Studios, Sony uses Morbius to showcase that they still have not understood the first thing about what it takes to make a compelling superhero movie that makes the audience invested in the characters and the world they inhabit.
While the Venom films have at least managed to entertain to some extent thanks to Tom Hardy’s amusingly chaotic Eddie Brock and ditto Venom, Morbius has absolutely nothing going for it other than seemingly being hellbent on taking the Sony live action Spider-Man cinematic universe to new lows.
In a word, Morbius is boring.
Every single aspect of the film is unengaging, from the story to the visual style to the acting and the visual effects. It looks like a film you have seen dozens of times before, but any other films it reminds you of were most certainly better executed.
The stakes are practically non-existent as there is never any sense of urgency, nor is there any of the suspense you would normally associate with both the superhero and vampire genres, as the action is blurry and dull, and even the most moderate kind of vampiric gore is glaringly absent thanks to the reluctance to make Morbius R-rated.
Being boring is enough of a cinematic sin for any movie, but where things truly go off the rails is in the two mid credit scenes, which easily take the prize as the most grotesquely idiotic content Sony has concocted to date.
One can almost imagine the powers that be at Sony grinning smugly, patting themselves on the back for finally getting what makes people connect with live action superhero entertainment, but they absolutely do not get it.
Instead, what they have done is the cinematic equivalent of soiling themselves and, to an extent, staining the innocent bystander that is the MCU by completely misunderstanding how that cinematic universe continues to keep people invested as it expands.
Normally, a solid mid and/or end credit scene can create a substantial amount of buzz among fans, but the only buzz surrounding the Morbius mid credit scenes is the swarm of flies buzzing around the fetid bowel movement that is this narrative abomination of bonus content.
Effectively undermining one of the key narrative elements of the MCU’s Spider-Man: No Way Home, Sony manages to reveal that they absolutely do not understand nor care how the creative process aids the financial success of the final product.
Instead, the cynicism of Sony is displayed for everyone to see, and it is difficult to decide if Morbius is an embarrassing, depressing or infuriating milestone for how bad superhero movies can get.
Sony is not incapable of making refreshing and enganging superhero entertainment, as Into the Spider-Verse was a stunning animated adventure that had all the components to make it the superhero masterpiece it is.
However, with Morbius, it is clearer than ever that Into the Spider-Verse was a beautiful fluke, as Morbius stays true to the Sony superhero formula, which is to well and truly suck.
Verdict: 1 out of 10.
* * * * *
Produced by Avi Arad, Matt Tolmach, Lucas Foster
Written by Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless
Based on Marvel Comics
Directed by Daniel Espinosa
Starring Jared Leto, Matt Smith, Adria Arjona,
Jared Harris, Al Madrigal, Tyrese Gibson
