Welcome to the thirteenth installment of Flashback to the Present. I’ll be your contributing writer, Charles Knauf.
About five years ago, I was on my way back to my hotel after judging the Ball Eating Contest at the Clinton, Montana’s annual Testicle Festival when some thugs decided to attack me; apparently they were mad because I awarded the trophy to one of their ex-wives.
Unfortunately, I was cornered between a giant, inflatable ball sack and a mural of “Testie the Testicle:” there was no escape.
What was I to do? All I had were my mitts and a $25 gift card for The Cracker Barrel given to me for judging. They were three strong, hopped up on booze and carrying planks with nails on ‘em. I was pretty much boned.
… At the Testicle Festival.
… Behind a colossal, inflatable ball sack.
… In Clinton, Montana.
It would be a pretty spectacular place to get killed, except I was finally able to afford ordering from the “Fancy Fixin’s” menu with my gift certificate and I loved me some Haddock.
That’s when an angel swooped in.
Her name? Lindsay.
Her game? Beating up dudes carrying planks with nails in ‘em.
Even as I write this, I have a hard time describing how this woman dispatched these thugs with extreme prejudice. In short – it was over faster than they could say “Jesus, lady; stop punching my crotch!”
After the dust settled, I asked Lindsay where she learned all of her sweet moves.
Her answer?
She-Ra: Princess of Power.
So, in honor of the person who saved my Cracker Barrel dining experience (the white fish was a little over-cooked by the way), I’m going to explore the world of She-Ra.
We all know about Prince Adam, aka He-Man; quite possibly the most macho character ever to grace our living rooms. Yet, very few boys got to know his twin sister Princess Adora, aka She-Ra.
Originally created to cash in on the astronomical success of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, She-Ra was meant to grab that oh-so-lucrative female demographic.
Princess Adora was originally introduced in the 1985 movie The Secret of the Sword as Adam’s long-lost sister. When she was a baby, she was kidnapped by the evil Hordak and his army, the Horde and taken to the distant planet Etheria. After some time, Adora was indoctrinated into the Horde and became Force Captain Adora. However, she discovers her tragic past and is granted The Sword of Protection; an equally powerful weapon to He-Man’s Sword of Power that, when activated, turned Adora into She-Ra, “the most powerful woman in the universe.”
She-Ra: Princess of Power was the series after The Secret of the Sword that followed the continuing adventures of She-Ra and her fellow freedom fighters in The Great Rebellion that battle Hordak and the Horde.
Like He-Man and the MOTU, She-Ra had a cast of colorful supporting characters and antagonists. She had her magic horse, Swift Wind/Spirit (basically She-Ra’s cringer); Light Hope, the guardian of the Crystal Castle; Madame Razz, the annoying comic relief; Kowl, butterfly/Kuala thing; Bow, a mustachioed dude with an exposed midriff; and other weird allies that pop up here and there.
On the other end of the spectrum there was, of course, Hordak; he’s kind of a cross between Skeletor and Batman. In Hordak’s corner is Shadow Weaver, a sorceress that looks like Orco with epic boobs and a badonkadonk; Mantenna, a goofy henchman with one of the most clever MOTU names; Grizzlor, a beast-like thug; and, Scorpia, a crazy scorpion-woman with pincers and a scorpion’s tail.
As mentioned above, She-Ra: Princess of Power was really made by Filmation to cash in on the female demographic not interested in the popular He-Man and the MOTU; however, the production company inadvertently made something kind of cool – a show centering around a female protagonist that kicks butt and isn’t driven by the whims of her male counterparts.
Of course She-Ra shouldn’t be the light of feminism; that would be silly. The show is chalk-full of stupid, insipid moments that are found in EVERY 80’s cartoon of the era – moment’s where it’s clear someone up the food chain said, “Well, damn; those kids like (insert stupid assumption here), so we’ll make the episode feature a character that (insert stupid character here).” However, strictly speaking from a writer’s standpoint, it was pretty amazing to watch a cartoon that not only featured a strong, independent female protagonist but, essentially, do that which any male equivalent does; go on adventures that generally have nothing to do with the opposite sex.
Heck, if I had a daughter I would have no problem letting her watch She-Ra.
She-Ra: Princess of Power isn’t a BAD show; the episodes are relatively fun and, unlike He-Man, the world vivid and colorful. However, it’s still stuck in a time where writers and producers didn’t necessarily think that they could grab a more sophisticated audience with deeper storytelling. The good news is that most of the episodes can be found on YouTube so feel free to check them out if you want to “trip the nostalgic fantastic,” but don’t expect anything mind-blowing.
Until next time!
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