Welcome to the eighth installment of Flashback to the Present. I’ll be your contributing writer, Charles Knauf.
DABNEY COLEMAN!
Anyone born after 1988 won’t know this man and shame on you.
Seriously, “I want more Dabney Coleman” should be in your vernacular with phrases like “I said well whiskey” and “no officer, that isn’t my inflatable pumpkin.”
Some say Dabney Coleman was forged during a panty-raid attended by God, Oden and Ra.
Some say Dabney Coleman exposed Watergate.
Some even go as far as to say the single row of footprints in the sand behind you on the beach was Dabney Coleman’s.
I’m not too sure if any or all of those statements are true, but I can say with 100% accuracy is Dabney Coleman was the conscience in a little movie that is our focus today called Cloak & Dagger.
Cloak & Dagger is the story of a Davey Osborne (Henry Thomas) who is your average, gaming introvert. At one point he witnesses a murder. However, before the victim kicks the bucket, he hands Davey a copy of the videogame Cloak & Dagger and explains that it has all sorts of wicked military secrets buried in the circuitry.
I’ll put it this way: Cloak & Dagger is kind of like Home Alone 3 only it didn’t suck.
Anyway, Davey and his buddy Kim, (Christina Nigra) are on the run from group of spies headed by a real ass-hat by the name of Dr. Rice (Michael Murphy).
Looks bad for the kids, right?
How in the hell are two kids going to fend off a group of murderous spies that kill puppies for fun?
I’ll tell you Negative Nancys how: Jack mother-flippin Flack (Dabney Coleman).
Who is Jack Flack you ask? Why, Jack Flack is the hardest, meanest, and most badass imaginary friend to exist since ever.
Don’t believe me? Just ask Drop Dead Fred.
Oh, that’s right; you can’t! Drop Dead Fred was murdered by Flack one night in a bar because, and I quote, “I didn’t like the cut of that commie’s jib.”
So the three are constantly out-running all sorts of spies and the US government, including his military air traffic controller dad ALSO played by Dabney Coleman – that’s right, he’s so badass he needs TWO characters.
SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE THAT HAVEN’T SEEN A 30 YEAR OLD MOVIE
In the end, Davey is cornered by Rice and Flack, being a big-pimpin’ badass, decides to bend the fabric of reality and APPEAR IN THE REAL WORLD! What? Should I repeat that?
No, just read it again; I’m not typing this twice.
Flack gets blasted when Davey has a crisis over Flack trying to make Davey a badass like himself and ends up dying. However, since the spirit of Dabney Coleman can never die, Davey taps into his inner-Coleman, plants a bomb in the escape plane of the TRUE antagonists (Ma and Pa Kent apparently) and blasts them straight to hell.
Davey’s dad catches up to his son and they reunite with a much stronger bond; the bond of Coleman.
This movie gets 3 thumbs up and all of the applause.
Little known facts about the movie:
- Cloak & Dagger won every Oscar in 1984 AND 1985.
- The movie cleared over a billion dollars its first weekend, and that was one theater.
- Dabney Coleman is considered a god in parts of Hawaii.
- If you don’t get the right presents from Santa, Dabney as Jack Flack is called to “correct the fat man.”
- Keyser Soze is Dabney’s dog walker.
If all of that doesn’t convince you to check out Cloak & Dagger I fear you must either be too old to handle the raw, explosive power of Dabney Coleman as Jack Flack or, quite simply, unable to comprehend how unevolved you are.
So do yourself a favor and watch Cloak & Dagger.
