As the dog days of summer drag to a close, let’s take a look back on one of the weirdest movie seasons in memory, when humongous “sure-fire” blockbuster wannabes bombed embarrassingly, anticipated sequels and reboots were hit-or-miss, and dependable marquee stars and acclaimed directors failed to attract enough fans.
Even the most successful movies that scored with critics and audiences had their fair share of detractors, and it’s fair to say the most memorable thing about Hollywood’s Summer of 2013 was the steady supply of news flashes concerning future sequels.
Let’s begin there.
Juiciest Bits of News about Upcoming Movies
Three tantalizing tidbits about 2015’s Star Wars: Episode VII have rolled in, and they all sound fantastic: John Williams will return to score! There will be a greater emphasis on practical special effects, and less soulless CGI! Unlike Episodes II and III, which were shot digitally, the new Star Wars movie will be FILMED in 35mm!
Another franchise secured its ace in the hole: Robert Downey, Jr. has officially signed the dotted line to appear in two Avengers sequels, though Marvel is curiously mum on whether or not there will be an Iron Man 4. Speaking of Avengers, writer/director Joss Whedon formally revealed the title of the Avengers sequel: The Avengers: Age of Ultron, arriving May 1, 2015.
In other news, the inevitable Man of Steel sequel has been announced for July 2015, and it will pit Superman against the Dark Knight, a daunting sign that Warners and DC, nervously gearing up for their Avengers-style assemblage Justice League, don’t have much faith in another stand-alone Superman sequel. Despite the middling critical reception of Man of Steel, must-see factor for the follow-up just went through the roof.
But subsequent news last week that Ben Affleck will don the cape and cowl as Batman in the Man of Steel sequel sent fans into a tizzy, who obviously don’t agree with me that the sins of Gigli and Daredevil have been amply absolved by the triumphs of The Town and Argo. Remember that many a doubting geek pooh-poohed the casting of Michael Keaton in 1989’s Batman, Heath Ledger as the Joker in The Dark Knight and Daniel Craig as the new James Bond in Casino Royale, and they each acquitted themselves nicely. Maybe let’s give Affleck a chance, methinks.
The Most Disappointing Movies of Summer 2013
The haunting tale The Conjuring didn’t conjure a single startle or shock, nor did it hold a candle to the vastly superior and far scarier ghost story Mama. Kick-Ass 2 had none of its predecessor’s wit or visual panache, and so another would-be franchise officially bites the dust. The Great Gatsby was gorgeous but tedious—watching it felt oddly like trudging through summertime homework.
Considering the potential and the hype, Zack Snyder’s Superman reboot Man of Steel let down audiences with the many ways it tweaked the origin story and diverged from Richard Donner’s incomparable Superman: The Movie.
Finally, after the lessons learned from the execrable X-Men Origins: Wolverine, you’d think The Wolverine would have been better, but despite a game Hugh Jackman, some flashy action and a gratuitous tease for next summer’s X-Men: Days of Future Past, the whole affair was a flat-out bore.
The Movies I’m Most Proud to Have Skipped
Back in the days when I saw free movie screenings, I would watch pretty much anything. Nowadays, I’m a lot more discerning with my cinema dollars, and so there was no way I was going to spend a single cent to support vulgar Hollywood nepotism (After Earth), ill-conceived tent-pole bait (The Lone Ranger), shameless in-house thievery (Planes), pseudo-jingoistic hogwash (White House Down), or whatever the hell that Ghostbusters-meets-Men In Black mash-up R.I.P.D. was all about.
At least studio suits can take some solace in the notion that my ignoring these alleged turds precluded their inclusion in a “Worst of the Summer” list.
The Movies I’m Sorry I Missed
Some independent films snuck by me because they either bypassed my town entirely or I was sick the day they played here.
I will be sure to catch up with Before Midnight, Mud, The Kings of Summer, The Way Way Back and Much Ado About Nothing as soon as possible.
The Best Movies of Summer 2013
The biggest box office slam-dunk of the season was Iron Man 3, a slick, funny and cleverly subversive thrill ride that not only served as atonement for the clunky Iron Man 2, but also as a semi-sequel to The Avengers.
Guillermo del Toro’s awesome and giddily entertaining monsters-versus-robots epic Pacific Rim left American audiences cold, but it’s made enough box office overseas to warrant that yay-or-nay sequel after all (I vote “yay!”).
The same success cannot be extended to Neill Blomkamp’s terrific sci-fi/social parable Elysium, which offered a refreshing and much-needed dose of hard “R”-rated violence and profanity in a tepid season of “PG-13” dilution.
Rounding out my top five are two similarly themed (and similarly named) comedies of male bonding during the apocalypse, This is the End and The World’s End —both were wickedly funny and both boldly dared to deliver on the finality promised in the title.
