Last year, T.J. and I prepared to start blogging about Saved by the Bell, that most august of ’90s preteen programs. Sadly, the project fell through due to unforeseen circumstances, but the germ of that idea evolved into this column. But when you consider that T.J. is probably the foremost authority on Saved by the Bell this side of Chuck Klosterman–perhaps even more so–it seems a waste not to utilize his encyclopedic knowledge of Bayside and its students.
That’s why we’ve decided to try the “Zack Attack” out as a feature of this column.
First up, the inauspicious launch of a Disney Channel series called Good Morning Miss Bliss, featuring Disney stalwart Hayley Mills and a familiar cast…
I have a soft spot in my heart for Saved By The Bell and many would say that’s an understatement, maybe of epic proportions.
So when Frankie approached me about doing a blog entitled Zack Attack recapping every SBTB episode, I thought I had no choice but to say yes.
Circumstances led to a blog about the ’90s in general, but that doesn’t mean that we couldn’t incorporate the Attack in our regularly scheduled programming.
So we start in the ’80s with the debut of Good Morning Miss Bliss, the precursor to SBTB.
The first episode, entitled “Summer Love”* is the first day of school and we walk through the halls of Bayside….I mean JFK Junior High School in beautiful Los Ang…Indianapolis, Indiana.
Young (actually really young) Zack Morris tells his friends Screech, Lisa, Mikey and Nicki about a girl he had been hanging around with during the summer. He told the girl, Karen, that he was in the 9th grade, even though the truth was he would just be starting the 8th grade. They had such a great time together but Zack figured the lie wouldn’t come back to haunt him because the girl lived far away and went to a different school.
We also meet superstar teacher Miss Carrie Bliss.
My feelings towards her is that she could have been the first version of Mr. Feeny, the ultimate teacher who cares deeply about their students and offers lessons more than just what’s in the books, but about life, love and all that sappy stuff.
The principal at JFK Junior High is Mr. Richard Belding. He’s very dry and serious in the Miss Bliss version of SBTB. The eventual move to California turned him into lovable goofball of a principal who was firm but fair.
Going back to Zack’s Summer of Love based on a lie, Karen (played by Carla Gugino) shows up at school.
Surprise, surprise, she is now enrolled at JFK Junior High as a 9th grader, putting Zack in the first of thousands of predicaments involving girls.
Instead of telling Karen the truth right away, he continues the lie in typical Zack Morris fashion. He tells her he’s in an experimental 9th grade program on a campus that no one has ever heard of. He even says he has an experimental driver’s license (that can’t be used on Wednesdays nonetheless). She somehow believes him while he carries on the charade.
It is announced during homeroom that Zack is representing the 8th grade in a general school assembly. That strikes fear in the blond Tom Cruise’s heart (If you know that reference, you’re okay in my book.) and he offers his resignation as 8th grade student council representative. Miss Bliss thinks that’s crazy and questions Zack’s intentions. He tells her about lying to Karen and keeping it going, “until she graduates.”
But ever the great teacher, Miss Bliss tells him that he should tell her the truth.
It seems as if Zack is ready to tell her the truth until a hallway scene where Karen tells him that her parents are away during the weekend so they can have the pool all to themselves (And she would wear a bikini she was too shy to wear at the beach over the summer.)
This peaks the interest of young hornball Zack Morris and he keeps the lie going…that is until he tells Miss Bliss he’ll see her in homeroom. Caught in the lie, Zack tries to keep it up saying he’s part of an experimental homeroom mixing 8th graders with fantastic 9th graders like himself. Karen puts it all together (finally) and basically never wants to see Zack again.
A lot of the recap so far has been on Zack’s problem but unlike the future Saved By The Bell, Good Morning Miss Bliss focuses mostly on the show’s namesake throughout its run.
So Miss Bliss is excited for a date with Dr. Brian, played by Barry Jenner. (You may know him as Lt. Murtaugh on Family Matters) Mr. Belding wants her to take part in a meeting with parents, but Miss Bliss keeps rejecting that saying she has a big date (even if that means Mr. Belding has to give up tickets to The King and I starring Telly Savalas. What a reference!) During this plot line we meet Miss Paladrino, Carrie’s friend and kooky art teacher. We also meet Mylo, the school building supervisor, played by the one and only T.K Carter. He knows about the date because, “The pipes; they have ears.” Creepy, yes.
During her big date with the Doc they seem to be having a wonderful time.
As she’s in the kitchen getting dessert ready, she is startled by Zack who appears in the window. She lets him in and they talk about his problem. He feels crummy over Karen ending their Summer of Love romance because of his lie. She offers advice and pie while trying to get back to the date with the good doctor in the next room.
While talking to Zack, we learn that Carrie’s husband died three years earlier.
Why was this date such a big deal?…that’s why.
So she offers Zack some hope, saying everything will be okay. Dr. Brian meets Zack, first introduced as the paper boy, but then is told he’s one of her students. He has to leave, he says, and Carrie thinks it’s because of Zack’s interruption. She talks about her busy life, balancing life and school, saying the students drop by all the time for advice. (Don’t think that’s even allowed these days.) But he has to leave so abruptly because he’s a freakin’ doctor and has to go to the hospital, not because of the interruption. Carrie is relieved as the Doc tells her that Zack has a great teacher.
Young Mr. Morris agrees with him and that ends the first episode.
I mostly watched the show through syndication as a kid, so I had no idea what the hell was going on anytime a Miss Bliss episode was on.
Indiana? Where’s Slater, Kelly and Jessie? Who the eff is Miss Bliss?
But then after learning about the back story I became more forgiving of the Miss Bliss era. It set the stage for Zack Morris’ future reign of terror, Screech’s weirdness and Lisa…I guess just being Lisa. It was less outrageous and more realistic than what SBTB would become.
It also focused mostly on the adult life of Miss Bliss rather than the teen high school hi jinks that would dominate SBTB.
Even though Hayley Mills is delightful as the junior high teacher, watching the first ever episode of what would become Saved By The Bell, it’s comforting knowing the best was yet to come.
T.J.’s pretty much got the pilot covered. I will mention, however, that we’ve had discussions as to how to reconcile this original season into SBTB canon–if such a thing exists. There’s one big problem, and that’s Mr. Belding. It’s one thing, however unlikely, for Zack, Screech and Lisa to relocate simultaneously to California. It’s improbable bordering on impossible and a little unsettling for Mr. Belding to follow along.
It’s best not to think too much about the inconsistency, but that’s what we do.
One solution is to consider the Miss Bliss adventures an alternate universe, while the Bayside episodes form the main timeline. However, when Saved by the Bell was initially sold into syndication, the Miss Bliss episodes were included in the package and rebranded as Saved by the Bell, complete with new episode introductions by Mark-Paul Gosselaar in character as Zack.
One thing we’ll be digging as we research future episodes is whether SBTB fanon is out there, and where it stands on this topic.
It’s not the last time the canonicity of Saved by the Bell is murky. It’s not that the series was ever meant to have an airtight continuity, but there were running subplots they managed to keep straight, what with numerous relationships and breakups.
There were, however, lots of things that were dropped or contradicted as well, including one most egregious flap that comes up towards the end of the run.
We obviously think harder about Saved by the Bell than you ever expected anyone to think.
*While this was the first episode to air in the Disney Channel run of the show, there was a pilot episode aired in primetime on NBC the year before. This episode bears even less resemblance to Saved by the Bell, as Brian Austin Green starred along with fellow future ’90s icons Jaleel White and Jonathan Brandis. This wasn’t picked up, and the show was retooled and sold to the Disney Channel. It wouldn’t be the last time the show would be revamped or aired on NBC.
