Why Love The 90s?: AUNT OONA FROM ALTOONA

So this week, the two of us were finally going to attack Pogs.

You remember Pogs, right?  Well, they’re back!  In internet pop culture column form!

Or they would be, had something much more important–and much more tragic–occurred.

Donna Summer passed away.

Now, the “Queen of Disco” is much more closely associated with the ’70s than the ’90s, though it’s flat-out impossible to overestimate her influence on dance music moving forward into the ’90s and beyond.  Summer’s creative partnership with Giorgio Moroder not only yielded some of dance and pop’s best, most remembered songs but also wrote the DNA of club music for decades to come.  

Her breakout hit, “Love to Love You Baby,” almost literally redefined sex in music, thanks to the orgasmic moans Summer sprinkled throughout the track.  (“Love to Love You Baby” later became a source of internal conflict when she tried to reconcile her music with her faith–she retired the song for a long time because of it.)  “Heaven Knows,” “On the Radio,” and her (arguably) signature song “Last Dance” were not only disco staples, but continue to enjoy steady airplay to this day on classic and oldies stations.

“I Feel Love” practically invented hi-NRG dance music and became an essential influence of techno and trance.  David Bowie recalled in the liner notes of his Sound + Vision compilation an instance during the recording of his Berlin trilogy when he and Brian Eno immediately recognized the song would “change the sound of club music for the next fifteen years.”

But this is “We Love the ’90s,” so while her music deserves a litany of blog posts and retrospectives, we’re really here to talk about the time she played Steve Urkel’s aunt on “Family Matters.”

The episode in question was the penultimate installment of season five, titled “Aunt Oona.”  The cold open began with a fairly concise gag: the Winslow family is watching a horror film with the lights off when Urkel barges in as is his way, spooking everyone.  The main plot quickly starts after the opening credits, when Steve introduces the Winslows to his painfully shy Aunt Oona.  In a nice little bit of stuntcasting, it’s Donna Summer who slinks meekly through the door as the visiting Urkel relative, to a great audience response.

“A streak of bad luck” brings Oona to visit Steve in Chicago.  (Her kitchen exploded because the gas line ruptured when her living room flooded, due to the water pipe snapping after the roof collapsed.  When Carl tries to probe further, Steve tells him, “Give it up, it’s quicksand.”)  It’s in this scene that Summer proves she’s game for physical comedy, as when she falls backward from the arm of a chair onto her rear end, or when she shrieks and bolts as soon as the Winslows say hello to her.

As it turns out, she’s clinging pretty tightly to Steve, so he attempts to pawn her off for a while onto the Winslows.  He gets her talking to Harriette, who grills Oona on her love life.  Oona tells of a man who works at the laundromat she goes to, by the name of Barney Murkel.  She wistfully talks of one day becoming “Oona Urkel-Murkel,” but when Harriette asks about the wedding date, Oona tells her, “We haven’t officially met!”

Harriette resolves to help Oona build her self-confidence, to which Oona enthusiastically agrees.

The two of them rush off to plot a day of makeovers and shopping, and they don’t leave a moment too soon, because Waldo Faldo’s snowmobile crashes through the kitchen wall right after they head out.  Through the kitchen…and into the living room…and into Carl.  (Waldo’s response to all of this is typically priceless: “What do I owe you for parking?”  Shawn Harrison was always so underrated, and deserves much recognition for his portrayal of situation comedy’s greatest idiots.)

In typical ’90s sitcom fashion, the price Eddie has to pay for the snowmobile mishap that took out two walls and destroyed furniture and other valuables would only cost him $850. We guess the Winslows have incredible home insurance that covers such accidents. And coincidentally there’s a karaoke contest that Eddie has to win to pay for the damages. Grand prize of the “Okie Dokie Karaoke” contest? A cool $1,000, more than enough to fix the current crisis.

The night of the contest arrives, and all of the Winslows arrive, flanked by Aunt Oona with Harriette.  Obviously, the makeover was a success, and Oona confesses to Harriette just how pretty she feels for the first time, and how she feels for the first time like she has a friends.  (Watching this episode originally, we had different reactions.  T.J. wasn’t really familiar with Donna Summer in the first place, being 7, and had to rely on his dad to vouch for her.  Frankie was a little older and knew of her, but didn’t recognize her until this point in the episode.  Guess she really disappeared into the role.)

So after a terrible opening bit by the karaoke competition’s host (though he gets in one underappreciated line: “It’s great to be here for cheap entertainment!”), Eddie, Waldo and Steve take the stage as…Eddie Winslow and the Poops?  Umm…

Eddie has a great voice, which he showed off on “I Heard It Through The Grapevine,” but T.J. felt like Waldo and Steve brought him down.  Frankie won’t argue there, but he at least enjoyed their presentation–those red jackets were pretty plush.  Luckily they were followed by a couple of bad acts, an Asian singing cowboy fellow and some hippie dude. It looks like Eddie and the Poops are set to solve the problem of the week when “The Mighty Echoes” hit the stage. They bring the audience to their feet with an excellent performance of “Runaround Sue” and seem to have locked up the win. (After a google search, looks like The Echoes are a real doo-wop cover band. Not fair! These nights are supposed to be belong to the amateurs!)

When it looks like the Echoes have locked it up and Eddie will have to get a job or something, Steve pulls Aunt Oona on stage. Surprise, surprise, Aunt Oona, who looks just like Donna Summer, gets up on stage and breaks out of her shell to sing like Donna Summer.  And then she destroys the competition with “Last Dance,” because why not?

It’s pretty academic at this point, but yes, she wins the thousand dollars and immediately gives the check to Eddie to bail him out with Carl.  So all’s well that ends well.

But honestly, the plot is pointless, because the real value of this episode was in introducing Donna Summer to a new generation of fans.

She’d return once more as Aunt Oona, and though acting was never a focus for her, she had great presence on screen.

And of course, any excuse to get her to sing is an excuse we’ll gladly accept.

The world will never forget Donna Summer, just as Family Matters fans will never forget Aunt Oona from Altoona.