Imagine Slap Shot without Paul Newman, or the scenes with girls, or drinking, or bus rides, or some of the other comedy stuff.
All you’d be left with are the Hanson Brothers punching the stew out of everyone on the ice.
Someone must have thought of that, because we’re finally getting the raw hockey violence that people have so wanted. (Even though I’m not running for office, I will speak for the people in this matter.)
This movie is the Casablanca of brutal dumb guy films.
Plus it has a music score and a girl.
Dim bulb Doug Glatt (Seann William Scott) works nights as a bar bouncer, beating up bullies and sots. Thanks to his friend (co-writer Jay Baruchel) Glatt finds himself hired by a semi-pro hockey team.
He’s not there to skate, but to serve as on-ice enforcer, socking people wet.
Nice verve, I say!
There are other things too, film things.
You may like them, but hitting is the high point for me.
Luckily director Michael Dowse provides an endless loop of slugs and brawls. Bar trollop Eva (Alison Pill) provides Doug’s love interest, but her only battle is with her trollop nature. (A little heady stuff for the big brains out there.)
Baruchel, along with co-writer Evan Goldberg, delivers a script that, I’m going to guess, is good with some minor flaws. That’s one of the drawbacks of blind reviewing, but I will read accounts by people who have watched the film, weigh their thoughts, and often split the difference.
I could stop here and you’d be set up really sweet like fat twins in a fudge factory. But I couldn’t help thinking how much better other movies would’ve been with the introduction of a brutal dumb guy. I’m thinking a so-so flick might’ve been punted clear into Oscar Town.
Let’s take Dumber and Dumber. Half a loaf is better than none, but what if Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey maximized their stupidity with really hot punching power?
They could misread a situation and just as we’re laughing and feeling superior to them, they’d unleash a devastating right cross that would floor a snooty hotel manager.
And have we considered the boost a brutal dumb guy might’ve given to Dune?
Instead of thinking, ‘He has eaten the spice,’ what if Max von Sydow thought, ‘I wonder if this stupid shovel head is going to punch me?,’ then WHAP! Kyle MacLachlan nails him right through his shield.
What film do you think would’ve been better with the addition of a brutal dumb guy?
Please list your favorites in the comments section.
Lori Caputi was value added as key hair stylist.
Four and a half stars out of five. Seann William Scott spells his first name with two n’s and I find that distracting.
Cost ya a half star, buddy.
