Sword in one hand, staff in the other, Gandalf turned toward the balrog.
He shouted: “You! Shall not! Pass!” and brought down the stone footbridge with a single blow.
Frodo, Aragorn and the others looked relieved, but their faces turned to horror as the balrog’s flaming whip caught Gandalf by the foot, and he hung by his fingernails to the broken precipice.
“Run, you fools,” he said, and was gone.
The camera caught the rest of the fellowship running in slow motion, Frodo screaming, and dirge music filled the air. And while the camera lingers last on Frodo, a single tear rolling down his cheek, that’s not what gets me. It’s poor Pippin, huddled into a ball on one side, sobbing his little hobbit heart out. Makes me cry, every time, if only a little.
And that’s when I knew, I’m turning into a person who cries at movies.
Not that I want to cry at movies, books, songs, etc. In our culture that’s typically reserved for women, right? They’re the emotional ones. Look at some of the greatest tearjerker movies: Steel Magnolias, Love Story, The Joy Luck Club, Ghost, Titanic. (The world’s best male-oriented tearjerker needed sports, as in Field of Dreams.)
Blatant histrionics won’t do it, either.
Sean Penn throwing fits in Mystic River was awesome, but the way the town turned on Tim Robbins in that movie is more heartbreaking. Maybe I learned this from my father, who cries at nothing, except A Star Is Born. He said everyone in the theater cried when Barbra Streisand sang “Evergreen” after Kris Kristofferson kills himself. All the women started crying first, and then all the men – who did their best to cover up their tears when the lights came on.
Streisand hasn’t hit the spot yet for me. Give me a few years, probably. There’s no doubt that my crying at fake stuff continues to develop as I have more life experience behind me. The older you get, the more you have to face loss, whether it be death, heartbreak or betrayal.
And geek stuff tends to get in there.
Most times it’s the little things. I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 the other day, and I went in prepared to cry a bit since some friends reported their own cry sessions. They got me when Minerva McGonagall says to Harry upon his return to Hogwarts, “And Harry … Good to see you,” with a look of pain, relief and love – not only for him, but for all of Hogwarts’ children and the world at stake against Voldemort.
RoboCop: When asked about the family in his former life, he says, “I can feel them, but I can’t remember them.” Lewis reaches to touch him in sympathy, and RoboCop says weakly, “Leave me alone.”
The Dark Knight: Gordon pleads with Two-Face to spare his son’s life, his voice and face full of father’s terror combined with betrayal by his friend. (Watch that scene and tell me we’re watching a comic book movie.)
Spider-Man 2: An El Train full of New Yorkers bring Spider-Man into the car after he saved their lives, hand him his mask and tells him his secret is safe with them, a scene colored by 9/11.
The Empire Strikes Back: Han Solo’s about to be put in carbonite, and Chewbacca starts raising hell. Han tells Chewie to calm down, forcefully saying, “The princess! You have to take care of her now,” the words of a man resigned to his doom.
Up: Yeah. You know.
I don’t know what movie will get me going next. I’m sitting near tears just thinking of all these moments right now. Though recently I found out it’s not just movies any more. I could barely get through DC Comics’ Identity Crisis without crying. Might have been different a year ago, but watching that depiction of Ralph and Sue Dibny’s marriage while preparing to begin my own … wow.
My dear nerds, what gets your geeky eyes flowing? Feel free to grab a Kleenex and share.
There’s no shame here.
Even if it is A Star Is Born.
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