‘Weapons’ (review)

I have never been so hyped to see a movie while simultaneously being equally extremely anxious.

Weapons, the new intense thriller from Barbarian writer-director Zach Cregger, was this film.

Weapons focuses on the effects of a small Pennsylvania town when all but one of the 17 children from a single elementary school class disappears one night without a trace or explanation.

The affected families, the lone teacher, and the surviving child all cope with the fallout of this incredible tragedy.

Lives unravel, secrets reveal themselves, and a series of unseemingly unrelated events eventually culminate in one of the most batshit amazing conclusions I have seen in a major motion picture film, possibly ever.

Whereas Barbarian, for me, was like two-thirds a brilliant film and one-third a complete bag of fuckery and not in the good way. Weapons delivers on all fronts.

When I saw Barbarian, I solidly understood what he was trying to go for in terms of the black comedy. The uncomfortable uneasiness of the entire last third of Barbarian, never wholly meshed for me.

When Justin Long’s character, AJ first appears I was like “Huh? What?” And I imagine Cregger wanted the audience to feel like they abruptly changed the channel in the middle of this taught horror thriller to a completely different film.

Unfortunately, by the time AJ’s story tied back into the previous story from the first two-thirds of the film, I was less invested in the movie as a whole. It took me out of the film so much that I barely recovered enough to enjoy what Cregger was trying to accomplish. And it nigh ruined an almost perfect movie.

I was so trepidatious about seeing Weapons.

The one trailer I saw had me thoroughly intrigued. I didn’t want to see anything else about the movie, so I could experience it as unadulterated as possible. It’s nearly impossible in this day and age of media projectile vomiting of ads. No matter where you turn, you are bound to be inundated with an ass load of media bombardment.

Anyway, I was extremely invested in Weapons from the outset. I don’t know why, possibly because of the intensity of that first trailer. Maybe I wanted to know if Cregger was a one-trick pony or a flash in the pan as a modern-day horror filmmaker. Most likely, though, it was the fact that overall I liked Barbarian and hoped that Weapons would be an even better film

Well, I can happily tell you, as you have probably figured out from my review so far, that Weapons exceeded all my expectations.

Zach Cregger has delivered a full-blown banquet of horror delectability, from the creep factor to the unsettling atmospheric tension. He has concocted a bonkers tapestry of holy shit moments wrapped in a warm, cuddly blanket of what the fuck. From the opening narration to the closing epilogue, Weapons delivers some of the most genuinely earned jump scares, head-tilting gross-out imagery, and overall alarmingly disquieting moments I haven’t experienced in a very long time. Probably not since I first watched Tobe Hooper’s original Texas Chainsaw Massacre in high school over 35 years ago.

Every performance in this film is brilliant. Julia Garner as the accused teacher, Justine, and Benedict Wong’s performance as her exasperated but extremely protective supervisor, Andrew, are so genuine that I feel for them at every crooked turn. Josh Brolin is fantastic as one of the parents whose child, Matty, has become one of the disappeared; his unraveling as the film progresses is believable. Alden Ehrenreich is great as Justine’s ex, Paul, a town cop and former alcoholic. Long-time readers know of my aversion to child actors in films. They can make or completely break a movie for me. Weapons hosts a bevy of talented young actors, all nail their performances, especially Cary Chrostopher’s Alex, the lone child in the school who didn’t run off into the black of night, whose performance is stellar all around.

It is hard because I want to talk more about the film, but I don’t want to either because I need you to see it and not know what you are getting into. You aren’t ready. The audience I saw it with was not prepared for what we watched, and I love that.

From the reactions of the public whom I had the pleasure of witnessing this film with, I think that Zach Cregger and the entire talented cast and crew have created an instant classic horror film that you genuinely need to see in a packed theater of unsuspecting victims.

If this is the direction that Zack Cregger is moving, then I am fully onboard with whatever he plans to do next. I can’t recommend seeing Weapons enough. If you love unsettling, sometimes shocking films that create a perfect feeling of foreboding, then go and see Weapons.

I want to go back and check it out a second time, though I will probably have to wait till it comes to home video or stream because this one belongs on my shelf at home.

*  *  *  *  *
Produced by Zach Cregger, Roy Lee,
Miri Yoon, J. D. Lifshitz, Raphael Margules
Written and Directed by Zach Cregger
Starring Josh Brolin, Julia Garner, Cary Christopher,
Alden Ehrenreich, Austin Abrams, Benedict Wong, Amy Madigan