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Yes, You’re Old: Flashing Back To 1985 & 1995

It appears that both 1985 and 1995 were friggin’ boom years for the movies and TV industry as most of the summer was spent celebrating milestones of your childhood favorites.

It seems that the season has been filled with outdoor screenings and midnight showings of Back to the Future, The Goonies, and Legend, all of which turned 30 this year.

And for the millennials, red Solo cups were raised in honor of Clueless, Showgirls and Seven.

But as twentysomethings get dressed in corduroy overalls and do the Truffle Shuffle on a grassy knoll, we need to remember that their a plenty of solid movies and shows that are also celebrating a milestone this year, albeit in a quiet and dignified fashion.

Turning Thirty…

Re-Animator

The legendary cult film turns the big three-oh this year. A personal favorite, it never ceases to entertain me whenever I show it to a newbie who isn’t expecting a decapitated head oral sex scene.

Rambo

A movie so manly the VHS cover practically drip testosterone, mother-fucking Rambo is 30. This needs to be celebrated in a big way. Invite dudes over and hand out headbands with grenade cupcakes.

Return to Oz

So, this movie holds up as the best possible way to scare children into submission. If you wish to undo years of potty training work and share a bed with your child until they hit high school, this is probably the best method.

Seriously. I’m a fully grown adult and this most still scares the bejesus out of me.

Real Genius

Val Kilmer as super genius Chris Knight steals the show as the hottest physics major ever.

Better Off Dead


“Two dollars.”

“Gee, I’m really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky…”

“Freeeench frieeees.”

“Buck up little camper, we’ll beat that slope together.”

Fright Night

Charlie has a lot to be worried about. His new neighbor is a hot vampire played by Chris Sarandon who appears to have lost or misplaced his shirt for a good portion of the movie.

Turning Twenty…

Babe

The adorable little pork product that chatted with sheep is turning the big 2-0 this year. When you watch it, try not to remember that almost 90% of the cast is now dead and/or breakfast.

Casino

Scorsese’s masterpiece about mobster life in Vegas showcases the acting chops of the helmer’s favorite thesps DeNiro and Pesci. Throw in a dazzling Sharon Stone in a gold lame dress for good measure and you have a classic.

Leaving Las Vegas

Perfect for the most depressing theme party ever.

Which might lead to the most depressing cosplay ever.

Friday

Makes a perfect double feature with Straight Outta Compton. Goodbye, Felicia!

Welcome to the Dollhouse / Kids

Twenty years ago, filmgoers were delivered the one-two punch of Harmony Korine and Todd Solandz.

That’s right. The trials and tribulations of Dawn Weiner has been making everyone slightly uncomfortable for two decades now, while we can still never look Chloe Sevigny in the eyes ever again.

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar

Slightly underrated and completely fabulous, watching tough guys Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes swap out their bouncer duties and handguns for fishnets and eyeliner is a wonder to behold. And don’t forget a stellar supporting cast that includes Robin Williams, Chris Penn, Blythe Danner and Rizzo.

Xena: Warrior Princess

She’ll be turning to the small screen soon enough, but Lucy Lawless’ make her debut as a villain on Hercules two decades ago.

Mr. Show With Bob And Dave

Quite possibly the best sketch show in the history of cable sketch shows with very small audiences.

The HBO laffer starred Bob Odenkirk, David Cross and a handful of wannabes that would grow up to be Jack Black, Paul F. Tompkins, John Ennis and Tom Kenny.

If you haven’t seen this show, you’re life is half lived.

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