Why is the Lorax running for Governor? RANT

Hello friends!

Consider this RANT a reminder to CHOOSE WISELY WHEN YOU ARE IN THE VOTING BOOTH ON NOVEMBER 2nd!

I live in New York City, where a billionaire is the Mayor.

New York City is in New York State, where the current governor got his job because the previous one got ousted on a sex scandal (he was messing with “high class” hookers. He now has a horrible “talk” show with some woman on CNN. He looks very uncomfortable and strange.

I’m guessing he paid those chicks a LOT of money to have sex with him.

“I didn’t pay…the taxpayers did!”

Anyway, the one thing I love about New York is diversity.

Lots of diversity here. And it was reflected in the debate that happened last week. There was a motley crew of candidates, only two who we can take seriously.

1 – Andrew Cuomo – I think he will win. He’s serious, just like his father was.

2 – Carl Paladino – He hates Gay people. Or rather, he doesn’t hate Gay people, he just doesn’t want them to get married, and really hates any and all “Pride” parades because of the lack of clothing and the gyrating that happens. He also believes that they “brainwash” children and turn them gay.

3 – Kristin Davis – She’s the madam who provided hookers for the former Governor Spitzer! Talk about full circle. No, she’s not this Kristin Davis

She does look like a hooker here though.

4 – Some guy from the Green Party

5 – Some Libertarian guy

6 – Some Freedom Party guy

And then there is Jimmy McMillan. You might have heard of him. He’s from “The Rent Is 2Damn High” party. He looks like The Lorax.

WHY IS HE WEARING WOOL GLOVES INDOORS?

I am begging you to look at his website.

I dare you to NOT have an epileptic seizure!

I love it because he uses the font Comic Sans. PLEASE, at least scroll down the entire page. What the fuck?

Flashing words, skeletons walking, crazy colors, maps of feet, I mean really, what in the hell is going on here?

But here’s the best part. He was parodied on Saturday Night Live last night, with a SPOT ON imitation by Kenan Thompson. Here’s the clip, courtesy of Gawker. Check it out and laugh your ass off.

I HEART NEW YORK! (city and state)

Love,
Crystal

Not a candidate