Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

General

SUPERBOWL 46 RANT!


Okay, okay, okay.

It’s been two days, and you’ve already seen the game.

I live in New York City, so I was surrounded by gunshots in my hood after the big win.

I’m not into sports these days, so there you have it.

The parade is at 11 in the morning, and I won’t be there.

Here are what I think are the best/worst of the spectacle.

#1 – I have a lot of friends who live in Europe, especially in England, Ireland, and Scotland, and they talked about the Superbowl more than my friends here in the city! And every time I asked why they were so into it…nobody could give me an answer as to why. Whatever.

#2 – No red carpet. Wouldn’t that be funny? Oh well, the Oscars are coming up soon enough.

Now, let’s go back in time to Sunday night.

Okay, the time is 6:00, and there’s the coin toss!

Now, Blake Shelton and his wife come out and sing “America The Beautiful.” They did a great job, SINGING LIVE!

And now Kelly Clarkson is singing the “Star Spangled Banner.” AND SHE CRUSHED IT! LIVE SINGING!

Okay, the Giants fun out onto the field, to some odd sounding, 90’s type sad Rock/Metal song. I have no idea what it is.

Now the Patriots come running out to “Crazy Train?” Really? Okay.

ON TO THE COMMERCIALS!

THE BEST OF THE NIGHT!

My absolute favorite is the car commercial with Jerry Seinfeld. It’s my favorite because Jerry is in it, but it FAILS as a commercial, because I don’t remember the car brand…but I remember that The Soup Nazi is in it!

MY SECOND FAVORITE!

This commercial is so fucking great on so many levels. A dog in a fat suit. One of the best James Brown songs EVER. STAR WARS CANTINA SCENE! I’ve watched it a hundred times already, I really love it.

MY THIRD FAVORITE!

This ad is total genius too. ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN? VAMPIRES? COME ON – HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE IT?

MY FOURTH FAVORITE!

Dogs + VW + Star Wars = Even MORE genius!

QUEEN ELTON JOHN and FLAVOR FLAV!

And now for the SOFT CORE PORN. First up, GoDaddy.com commercial featuring that race car driver chick, and the Biggest Loser workout chick. 

Oh, and some naked chick with body paint.

And the other one. A Fiat commercial where an Italian chick basically gets a pearl necklace…

Here’s the English translation –
“What are you looking at? Uh!?
What are you looking at?! (slap)
Are you undressing me with your eyes?
Poor guy… you can’t help it?
Is your heart beating? Is your head spinning?
Do you feel lost thinking that I could be yours forever?”

BACK TO COMEDY!

Here’s a long time favorite, the Career Builder.com ad with the chimps! And I just love that hapless guy. PERFECT!

The Voice commercial. MORE GENIUS!

And now, Samsung smacks down the iPhone. WITH A GUITAR AND A JUMPSUIT!

AND NOW – THE HALFTIME SPECTACULAR – MADONNA!

I’ve watched it about 10 times now. My first thought is…will Madge cut off M.I.A.’s finger and eat it for dinner? (see the Satanic ritual info below)

Otherwise, I’m a little bummed that she lip synched the entire thing (and can’t WAIT for the grudge match between her and the other Queen – Elton John) But the production was top notch, I LOVED the Jeremy Scott for Adidas drag (and the sneakers!) and how could you go wrong with Cee-Lo?

I’m not a fan of the new song though. Whatever – that 53 year old broad did shit that most 22 year old kids can’t do…and in 5 inch heels!
 
THIS JUST IN! Did you know that Madge’s half time show was a Satanic ritual?

Well, that’s pretty much it. There was the Clint Eastwood spot about car production in the US that has now made Republicans mad for some reason. I thought he was saying that the world was gonna end in the year 4024. He said that it’s halftime, so…

Just as long as we don’t blow up before the Grammys!

Love,
Crystal

Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

DISCLAIMER

Forces of Geek is protected from liability under the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act) and “Safe Harbor” provisions.

All posts are submitted by volunteer contributors who have agreed to our Code of Conduct.

FOG! will disable users who knowingly commit plagiarism, piracy, trademark or copyright infringement.

Please contact us for expeditious removal of copyrighted/trademarked content.

SOCIAL INFLUENCER POLICY

In many cases free copies of media and merchandise were provided in exchange for an unbiased and honest review. The opinions shared on Forces of Geek are those of the individual author.

You May Also Like

Columns/Features

Is the world ready for another Tom Ripley? Writer-director Steven Zaillian (Searching for Bobby Fischer) seems to think so, and in this third adaptation...

Reviews

I’ve been waiting for two years to watch the debut of the re-imagined Shōgun, one of my all-time favorite novels, and I’m happy to...

Reviews

In 2020, 12 Years A Slave Director Steve McQueen created a sweepingly cinematic anthology miniseries for the BBC called Small Axe about the lives...

Movies/Blu-ray/DVD

 WandaVision is basically four shows in one. There’s the fun one that goes meta on sitcom visions of family life across the decades. There’s...