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Sequential Snark: Unicorns, Vegans, Over Caffeinated, and Egghead!

A lot of great one-liners in the issues this week, even in series you might not expect it. From an avalanche of ice-puns that would make Joel Schumacher blush, Jess’s continual befuddlement on the Caper app or Biscuits, The Bat-Unicorn.

Have fun reading your usuals and maybe dive into a new, a great investment of 10-30 minutes (depending on wordiness).

 

Batman Sins of the Father #1
Words – Christos Gage
Pictures – Raffaele Ienco, Guy Major, Josh Reed

Those not familiar with the Telltale Batman video games will be a little lost here.

Bruce’s dad worked with Falcone and Mayor Hill. They killed people to hold power and silenced witnesses way with one way trips to Arkham Asylum. (there’s also a cute bromance between Batman and proto-Joker if you play it right).

It’s a comic, off of the games, off of the comic – so best to look at this as an Elseworlds tale.

Batman’s helping the GCPD with a gang war caused by the absence of Falcone. He’s gaining their trust but Bruce is far behind in that department. His father’s crimes are now public knowledge and the relatives of those wronged seek justice. Wayne Enterprises is already on shaky ground (there was a thing when Penguin ran it for a bit); what can he do?

 

Batwoman #12
Words – Marguerite Bennett
Pictures – Scott Godlewski, John Rauch, Deron Bennett

I don’t think we can be faulted to need some time away to recollect, but it’s when we are recovering the pieces of ourselves those bits are out and vulnerable.

Choose your cabana-mate carefully.

Kate reflects on the time she took to pull herself together, and who she gave herself to during that.

Like so much of Kate’s past (even the recent) it becomes a twisted fairy tale of blood and hurt and pain.

After this is all sorted out and she’s made sure her loved ones have remained safe Kate’s gonna need a vacation- but one that won’t spin into world spanning tragedy this time.

 

Death Bed #1
Storytellers – Joshua Williamson, Riley Rossmo

 

Death Bed (not “The Bed That Eats”, that’s a 1977 movie) is a new Vertigo book that feels very grounded for one that throws zombies and monsters at you right off the bat.

It couldn’t have accomplished that if it was just a book about it’s subject – Antonio Luna, an old super adventuring explorer (think Scrooge McDuck + The Most Interesting Man in the World).

Instead our entry point is Val Richards, an honest struggling writer who’s tired as hell of paying the rent with ghostwriting credits.

She needs to be respected for her own work (she’s argues with her editor, while sitting depressed on the can). It’s not needed for the enjoyment of the book, but I KNOW this character of person, it’s a real not always seen in comics and I appreciate it.

Action starts when the two characters are thrown together, this is going to be a rip roaring, house burning R-rated Jonny Quest good time. (or Mad Bull 34 for my fellow weebs out there, there’s your hint – wink!)

The narrator isn’t her, but it’s not Antonio either, and it’s not above giving out details the characters wouldn’t want out or know about themselves. It can be cheeky and playful, and I’ll be curious to see if a face eventually matches to our unseen voice.

 

Green Lanterns #41
Words – Tim Seeley
Pictures – Barnaby Bagenda, Tom Derenick,
Mick Gray, Ulises Arreola, Dave Sharpe

Simon’s reflecting on the time he spent with Night Pilot during down time in their mission to save her (and all the other kidnapped super-beings).

Scrapps is being minimally helpful and pretty annoying, so it’s lucky they need her as a guide on an outlaw planet. Their conversation gets unfortunately hilarious when bringing up the law forces of the Vega system.

I might have gone with Vegatonians, Veganauts, even Vegamites.

The sentence “So unless you want the Corps to turn you over to the Vegan authorities,” will NEVER be intimidating Simon no matter how scary a face you make.

They go to scary outlaw planet in outlaw sector (it is where bad guys hang out) and do their best impressions of badasses. The continuing running joke of the dating app is still used well, and the story is going somewhere. Not a bad issue Green Lanterns.

 

Harley Quinn #38
Words – Frank Tieri
Pictures – Mirka Andolfo, Eleonora Carlini, Alex Sinclair, Dave Sharpe

I’m not one to assign homework, but if you missed the 60’s Batman tv show, I’d at least have it’s wiki open as you read the issue.

Just as the be-bathing suited populace is about to take a chilly February beach plunge, Mr. Freeze makes that impossible. If I was there I’d be terrified but impressed (sea water freezes at 28.4 F).

Many other B-level baddies attack Coney Island, our little egg friend is kidnapped (eggnapped?) by one that looks a lot like Vincent Price in a skullcap.

But as things are getting smashed, and frozen, and covered in mustard and ketchup, Harley’s still in New York and doesn’t even know she’s needed.

Hope her little Scooby gang of Harley-ettes can keep the place together till she gets back!

 

Justice League #39
Words – Priest
Pictures – Ian Churchill, Alex Sollazzo, Willie Schu

When Aquaman gets thrown to the middle of nowhere, they don’t mess around. He’s sunburnt and struggling in the middle of miles and miles of desert dunes.

Then bandits on dune buggies attack, and then it gets weird.

Cyborg represents the Justice League at the hearing (good move, not only is he respected but his identity is public) along with their lawyer – Okay, didn’t know they had one on retainer).

The chairman asks for Batman to appear, Cyborg speculates he’s there and there’s a lovely cute visual shot of outside the proceedings with Batmen of many eras united in their support (see how many you recognize!)

Everyone not lost or in front of Congress is dealing with a toxic train crash, and all their actions are being scrutinized on not-Twitter in real time.

J’onn J’onzz needs the Lanterns for a mission in another book and the superfan is still out there with all their collected knowledge at his crazy command.

Something’s gonna break.

 

Nightwing #39
Words – Sam Humphries
Pictures – Phil Jimenez, Matt Santorelli,
Jamal Campbell, Alex Sinclair, Carlos M. Mangual

As it turns out that between the current story and back when Dick was Robin weren’t the only times he has crossed paths with the Judge.

Between Teen Titan-ing and Nightwing-ing there was college. Dick was trying to find himself, but found Jill (a classmate) at the center of a brutal murder spree. She was given a gold poker chip and the promise of a way off the drugs. But these monkey-paw promises never go the way they hope.

And the Judge remembers it too, he’ll sit present-Nightwing in a flooding room while the tale is slowly unwound (No one here is claiming the guy with eyes sewn shut is the model of sanity).

The Judge teases Nightwing, tells him other people he relies on have taken him up his poker chip promises and betrayed Dick.

He’s so much like the Judge (the Judge whispers), so determined to do right, so alone, and the water just keeps rising… can Nightwing hold his breath between issues?

 

Teen Titans Go! #26
Words – Sholly Fisch, Ivan Cohen
Pictures – Marcelo DiChiara, Franco Riesco, Wes Abbott, Jeremy Lawson

Today’s issue is coffee and shoes!

First, Robin learns that caffeine exists and is super effective in large doses when a coffee chain puts a store next to their base.

The whole team O.D.s to a cartoonish extent until the very act of them consuming it causes the place to explode, and we get to see them go through withdrawals – hilarity ensues.

The second story sees everyone but Robin and Raven in on a shoe trend – tight spring loaded shoes are in and everyone’s doing it.

This being Teen Titans Go, Robin doesn’t put up much of a fight before joining in.

A deus ex machina (Raven) solves the day but it’s left on a quirky cliffhanger!

 

The Brave & the Bold: Batman and Wonder Woman #1
Written and Illustrated by Liam Sharp

Hidden away from the world and mortal eyes is the land of Tir Na Nóg where the Faerie folk fled to when the newer god took their place.

It was meant to be a safe haven, but forces that had fought each other on Earth have found their reasons to cause unrest and the guardian of them, Cernunnos Cernach needs help.

He drops in on Diana’s vacation with Steve (they really tried to be unreachable. No wi-fi, no phones, in Antartica) and asks her audience. Even surprised naked in bed, Diana could not help but declare her support (after time to grab essentials) for the sad goat man.

Meanwhile, Batman is having a brood. People in the Irish sector of Gotham (don’t ask me, didn’t know they had one) are wandering in sad spacey circles.

Batman declares he will solve this!

And a homeless madman (?) named Patrick O’Schull seems to know more than he should.

It’s a 6 issue miniseries, this’ll be a fun ride.

 

Trinity #18
Words – James Robinson
Pictures – Patch Zircher, Gabe Eltaeb, Carlos M. Mangual

We start back at the Law & Order-esque interrogation room, where each of the three are being questioned after the fact individually.

I know with this method we get the cute overlapping running commentary through the action, and it does work a lot, but it hurts the tension considerably.

None of them will turn out to be Keyser Soze, or dead, or a magic clone so even though they’re hurt and in danger I’m not worried at all for them.

The three finish their talk with Warlord who asks them to find him, he was only a magic hologram the whole time. There’s lots of fighting, our three heroes who are all nerfed to similar ability levels make it past waves of enemies who all helpfully yell out their employer’s name.

They do get help, Warlord’s daughter astral projects herself with advice, and the three get to ride unicorns (because that’s something you wanted to see, admit it, and it is neat).

But a danger hit the ship that went in with them, the crew all… aged out. So add that to the mystery of this place, one more they will need to solve before escaping.

 

Wonder Woman / Conan #6
Words – Gail Simone
Pictures – Aaron Lopresti, Matt Ryan, Wendy Broome, Saida Temofonte

It’s our last issue with this book, I’ll miss it.

Diana is temporarily safe of Themyscira with her mother and among her sisters, but feels she has betrayed Conan with her leaving. But having just got her back she demands Diana swear to stay near.

Conan, meanwhile, ravages the furthest encampments around the doomed city. He will savagely kill the monsters night after night before they have a chance to slaughter the trapped people.

Diana’s surprised by the understanding and heart of her sisters, they ride to the city’s defense (if it is not too late!)

As the appointed night of bloodshed approaches, Conan asks the Corvidae for one last wager.

He will fight (with no blades) to the death any champion of theirs for the lives of all the people now endangered.

So much blood is spilled, people show who they are and what is most important to them and it is a grand ending, a good solid close to the week.

 

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