Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

General

Return To Stars Hollow: The Resurrection of THE GILMORE GIRLS

Written by Erin Maxwell

So, The Gilmore Girls are returning to the small screen, sort of.

In lieu of a twenty-something episode run, the ladies of Stars Hollow will be rolled out in four 90-minutes mini-movies, each covering a span of three months. Each segment will cover a different solstice, like a chick flick version of Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons.”

According to OG showrunner Amy Sherman-Palladino, the new mini-series will pick up eight years after the last series left off. And thus far, original cast members Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Kelly Bishop and Scott Patterson appear to be on board for the revival.


So, before we all sit down to binge on the fast talking, well-dress mother-daughter duo, here is a quick recap on the denizens of Stars Hollow and how we left them:

Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham)

The reigning Lorelai. Had a kid when she was 16, thus creating her own best friend, which is slightly creepy if you think about it. Like an au natural version of Frankenstein. Mom of Rory, on-again, off-again lady friend of Luke. Never in the same outfit twice and lives in a huge house despite what appears to be constant money issues.

Last Seen: Kissing Luke in the series finale in the rain of her daughter’s goodbye party. She runs a successful inn with best buddy Sookie, the best friend she didn’t have to give birth to.

Best Quotes:

  • On Dating: “If you are going to throw your life away, he’d better have a motorcycle.”
  • On Love: “I’m going to make out in the coatroom. Don’t eat my chicken.”
  • On Making Mistakes: “I hate when I’m an idiot and don’t know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy, to really revel in it, take pictures. I feel we’ve missed a prime Christmas card opportunity.”
  • Really. There are too many to choose.

Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel)

The young go-getter Rory is the apple of her mother’s eye. Book and coffee lover with great taste in music and awful taste in boyfriends. Quick witted with the occasional lapse in reason, Rory is as bright as they come…when she isn’t stealing boats or dating dickheads.

Last Seen: Graduated from Yale and following Barack Obama on the campaign trail as a political blogger, a big step for the young lass should the politician actually end up running for president (this was 2007, folks).

Best Quotes:

  • “A little nervous breakdown can really work wonders for a girl.”
  • “So I spent a night in jail. Big deal. So did Martin Luther King.”
  • “I really do hate everyone today. Including myself.”

Luke Danes (Scott Patterson)

Diner owner, town grump and love interest for Lorelai. Can dance. Family includes the brooding Jess, a flaky sister, a doofus brother-in-law and an illegitimate daughter with Audrey from Twin Peaks.

Was a schmuck after he was unable to deal with the superfluous storylines the writer threw at him and broke up with Lorelai after five years of sexual tension.

Last Seen: Kissing Lorelai. Again.

Best Quote:

Taylor the Town Know-It-All: “You would kick Tiny Tim’s crutches right from underneath him wouldn’t you?”

Luke: “If he asked for a free cup of coffee, gimpy’s going down.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zRT_XRyyTg

Emily Gilmore (Kelly Bishop)

The reason you should be watching this show. Mother of Lorelai, grandmother of Rory and wife of Richard (Edward Herrmann, RIP). Slightly scary matriarch of the Gilmore clan with a tongue so sharp it can cut diamonds. She and Lorelai spent the series attempting to fix their estranged relationship. Hates incompetent maids and her mother-in-law.

Once put Baby in the corner in a former life. Everything that comes out of her mouth should needle pointed onto a pillow and sold on Etsy.

Last Seen: Attending Rory’s going away party while saying nice things to Lorelai.

Best Quotes:

  • “When a woman gives birth to a crack baby, you do not go buy her a puppy.”
  • “If I wanted to play ping pong, I would kill myself.”
  • “I don’t eat at bars. Hookers eat at bars.”

Sookie St. James (Melissa McCartney)

Lorelai’s best buddy. A great chef and a complete klutz. Married to Jackson, mother to three kids, one of which she was tricked into by her husband.

Last Seen: Leaving television for starring roles in Hollywood tentpoles, earning accolades and kicking ass.

Probably not coming back for the reunion, but you never know.

Best Quote: “You know what happens when kids don’t like you? They tie you to a chair, they brain you with a bat, they set fire to the house and blame it on the neighbours!”

Lane Kim (Keiko Agena)

Rory’s best friend. Taught a generation of girls that your mother doesn’t have to accept who you are as long as you are really good at hiding shit. Mother is super religous. Great taste in music, weird taste in baby daddy’s. Got impregnated after having sex for the first time (on her honeymoon) by bandmate Zack.

Mother of twins. Works as a waitress at the diner while living in a weird one bedroom flat with a door that open right off the street. Fleetwood Mac is a guilty pleasure for her.

Last Seen: Sitting on a porch with Rory, reminiscing about first kisses while viewers feel bad that Lane got to go out on tour.

Best Quote: “Of course, I don’t exactly have what you and Dean have because you love Dean and Dean loves you back. In my situation, I love Dave and Dave thinks that I have a decent sense of rhythm.”

Paris Geller (Liza Weil)

Frenemy for Rory. Something a villain, sometimes a bestie. Walks around scaring people. The only character that can keep up with the Gilmore girls in verbal sparring. Unhinged and appears to have many psychotic breaks in her young life. A doctor and a lawyer and a writer and handy with a hammer. Tortures Danny Strong for fun, who created the show Empire to deal with his heartbreak.

Last Seen: Having first world problems of having to decide between law school and med school.

Best Quotes:

  • “ I want to live my life so that I’ll be able to read an in-depth biography about myself in later years and not puke.”
  • “Tie your tubes, idiot.”
  • “Right now my ass is probably as good as it’s going to get.”

Dean Forester (Jared Padalecki)

Rory’s first love and the only boyfriend she’s had that didn’t completely suck. He ended up marrying someone else as a teenage, but still took Rory’s V-card. Fuck vows. Despite his inability to stay faithful to his wife, still the best guy Rory’s dated. Now I’m sad.

Last Seen: Working shit out with his significant other by leaving the series and fighting demons.

Best Quotes: None, really. Dean was cute and nice, but not really quick with the quips.

Jess Mariano (Milo Ventimiglia)

Rory’s next love. She dumped Dean for this James Dean imposter.

Insufferable in the beginning, he eventually found his footing by going all bohemian. Audiences were expected to think his life would be a success because he self published a book. I was thinking of publishing this article as a book just to show you how easy it is to call yourself an author. Stil, the guy was better than boyfriend #3, Blondie McDbag.

Last Seen: Trying to get Rory back with his off putting charms. Didn’t work.

Best Quote: “Bye.”

Click to comment

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

DISCLAIMER

Forces of Geek is protected from liability under the DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act) and “Safe Harbor” provisions.

All posts are submitted by volunteer contributors who have agreed to our Code of Conduct.

FOG! will disable users who knowingly commit plagiarism, piracy, trademark or copyright infringement.

Please contact us for expeditious removal of copyrighted/trademarked content.

SOCIAL INFLUENCER POLICY

In many cases free copies of media and merchandise were provided in exchange for an unbiased and honest review. The opinions shared on Forces of Geek are those of the individual author.

You May Also Like

Movies

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) is a perfect film: an inverse of the “country bumpkin coming to the big city” trope that goes back to...

News

Paramount Home Entertainment has announced that Halo’s epic universe and cast of bold characters are back when season two of HALO, executive produced by...

News

REACHER IS BACK – and this time it’s personal. In the heart-pounding second season of REACHER, when members of Reacher’s (Alan Ritchson) old military...

News

Captain Burnham and the crew of the U.S.S. Discovery return when STAR TREK: DISCOVERY THE FINAL SEASON arrives with even more “incredible action sequences...