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Reminiscing About a Hell of a Guy(ver)

Apparently, card counting is just as frowned upon in Reno as it is in Vegas. 

So, after a hard weekend of excess and forgettable monetary purchases, I’m getting a ride home from a really good friend from way back; James.  Mr. White has rescued me from quite a few situations: across Tijuana to Barrow and in between, he’s been top notch. 

Hell, this true-blue Texan took time out of his wedding night to kick the crap out of a drug dealer that “thought I owed him money.” 

He’s as solid as people get.

Anywho, on our way back to LA, I tell him about the assignment due by Sunday for Forces of Geek and the fact that, if I don’t come through, the editors will sue my ass into oblivion.

Right away he gets it and brings up the time after WrestleMania-something-or-another when we watched a little anime (drunk on his parent’s peppermint schnapps). 

It instantly brings me back to the early 90’s when “anime” was a dirty word spoken in the alleys of Little Tokyo.  Where if you wanted to buy a quality anime movie, it was either Akira, Ninja Scroll or one of them Appleseed movies. 

Jeff snatches the cigarette from my mouth before I can light it in his car and says to me, “Why not write about that Guyver flick; you know, that movie was sick as hell.” 

“Anime?” I say.

Jeff goes, “Whatever it’s called, that was pretty sweet.”

So I will…

The Guyver: Bio-Booster Armor (1989)

The Guyver: Bio-Booster Armor was about a teenage kid who stumbles on a Guyver suit; a symbiotic suit that enables superpowers in the host body (take that Todd McFarlane).

The story starts with an evil monster-type guy (a Zoanoid) stealing three Guyver suits from the Cronos Corporation.  When the Zoanoid is surrounded by soldiers from the Cronos Corperation, it blows itself up; scattering the suits.

Shō Fukamachi, a high school student, finds the first Guyver suit and defends his friend, Tetsurô, against the recovery team from Chronos (who can, themselves, turn into Zoanoids).

Complicated, no?

So here’s the deal, there are more plot holes and dead-air in 80s-90s anime than you remember.

Seriously, as cool as the design is, and as solid as some of the animation is, the show really is hard to watch.

The good: the violence is pretty cool, especially since is juxtaposed with the “Voltron-type” anime of the day.  There’s something really fulfilling about seeing a guy with a beetle-cut turning into a horrible monster and getting his hands ripped off by The Guyver.

Also, the insectoid Guyver suit enveloping Shō is super sweet.

Which gets me into the design; that is to say, it’s top-notch.  Seriously, the “living weapon” Guyver suit is really cool; especially the musculature and tendrils.  When it rips open its chest to expose a bio-laser that blasts his enemies in a finishing move, I was really impressed.

Now, to the bad:  Dramatic synth music?  Check.  Animated supporting characters in freeze frame watching their friend battle an evil monster with their doubtful/hopeful dialog in voice over? Check.  Random rules being broken at really opportunistic times?  Double-check.

First off, there are mountains upon mountains of exposition.  You know those episodes of Dragon Ball Z that go on forever explaining how powerful a dude is as the protagonist looks on?  Yeah, that’s this show and then some.

In other words, it can get tedious with the boring explanations and random goofy looks into Shō’s personal life.

However, what I found while I was revisiting the show is that Guyver is a cog in the birth of modern anime; it’s one step towards Cowboy Bebop and Ghost in the Shell: SAC.  I can’t really complain because eventually we get some cool stuff.

However, this really isn’t made for someone who’s stepping into the anime world for the first time.  It’s more worth visiting if you want to skip down memory lane.



Alright, looks like I have to sign off.  Jeff is yelling at me for bringing a pound of “herbal supplements” into California and it just so happens that they have dogs doing checks on the border.

Looks like I’m going to have to hoof it for a few miles around death valley and meet Jeff at the next rest stop.

Until next time…

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