RANT: Svedka Vodka, WTF?

Hello friends!

Award season is long gone, and I’ve been crazy busy with school.

My spring break ended today, which is why I’m literally crying in my Sapporo beer right now. But I only have about 33 days left, and then I’M FREE – I’m NOT going back to the NYC DOE.

I’m officially burnt out and can’t do it anymore.

So I’m onto my grind to become a full time Rock Star – more on that later.

While I’ve been away, Winter has ended (what a fucking asshole) and Spring has come (she’s been a bitch, but at least she’s not a fucking asshole like her brother, Winter), and I’m walking around outside while taking my time instead of running away from snow, hail, lightning, wind, and rain.

And one of the things I’ve noticed around the streets of NYC is the ad campaign for Svedka Vodka. Have you seen these? I’m sure you’ve seen this HORRIBLE commercial

WHY DOES THIS COMMERCIAL SUCK?

#1 – It’s a HORRIBLE cover version of the Jackson 5’s ‘Dancin’ Machine.’
#2 – Lots of people doing “The Robot” and not doing it well.
#3 – The bad graphics and set design.
#4 – The bad drag everyone is wearing.
#5 – The creepy robot chick posing at the end.

What is the reason for this ad? Does it make you want to drink Svedka?

And now I see these ads plastered all over the place – mostly bus shelters. I just don’t get it. Why is this robot supposed to make me want to drink this vodka?

REALLY? “STIFF DRINKS AND GREASED ELBOWS?”

Here’s a billboard. The tag line for the campaign is, “RU BOT OR NOT?What in the hell is that supposed to mean?

Okay, so we’re supposed to think about drinking this vodka in the future…or that the vodka is so ahead of its time, we’re supposed to like it now? I’m confused.

Okay powerful men, make sure that younger woman you’re screwing around with while you’re married looks like this, so you’ll eventually dump your wife and marry that 100% titanium robot/trophy wife in 2033. Is her name Svedka?

STEM CELL BABY BOOMER GENERATION. Whaaaaaaaaaaat?

I don’t know about you, but I think this campaign is a total FAILURE. They SHOULD have hired Charlie Sheen. Oh, that’s right, Charlie allegedly snorts more coke than he does drink. Maybe if they made a Tiger Blood Malt Liquor Charlie would endorse that.

I was also wondering who inspired the look for this robot chick.

It immediatley reminds me of the movie METROPOLIS.

But then I thought, maybe it was based on a real person. And I came up with this…

Pretty close right? At least the boobs are all plastic.

I hope this mess ends soon. Ugh. What ad campaign are you hating right now?

Love,
Crystal