‘Novocaine’ (review)

Here’s the thing. I went into the screening of the new Jack Quaid film, Novocaine, completely unaware of what the film was about.

All I was sure of was that it WAS NOT a remake of the 2001 Steve Martin film of the same name about a dentist.

At least I was pretty sure.

Turns out I was right.

This is the first time in an extremely long time that I have gone into a film with no prior knowledge whatsoever about it. It was also 100% unintentional. I wasn’t trying to avoid spoilers or the film itself at all. Life just got in the way.

I had seen the cool looking poster, featuring Quaid, that is reminiscent of the box illustration for the old school board game Operation but didn’t really register anything else about it. So when I was asked to review it I said “Sure, what the heck. I love Jack Quaid and Amber Midthunder is amazing in Prey.” (That is all I knew about the movie, BTW)

So watch it, I did.

And enjoy the hell out of it I surely did as well.

What I discovered was that Novocaine is the sweet love story about a meek assistant bank manager, Nathan Caine, played perfectly by Quaid, who has to save the woman of his dreams when a group of bank robbers take her hostage after their semi-botched robbery of the bank they both work at goes south.

I also learned that Quaid’s character, Caine suffers from the autoimmune disease CIPA, congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis. This is an extremely rare genetic disorder that prevents individuals from feeling physical pain, hence NovoCAINE, his last name (light dawns on Marblehead).

While, in the film, this debilitating health issue, becomes an unintentional asset to Nathan Caine.

For in the pursuit of the bad guys Caine endures a cuckoo bonkers amount of bodily injuries and distress that normally would incapacitate and stop a healthy person. In Nathan’s case it barley registers to him, making him a kind of messed up superhero. Whereas the real disorder has the complete opposite effect on real people and has a high mortality rate with most people with it only living to the age of 25 it is a sort of fucked up benefit and asset to him in his attempt to save the woman he loves. Obviously this is a fantasy film and not an HBO documentary so, grain of salt, as they say.

The film does a pretty solid job at showing the dangers of this condition and the precautions needed to prevent serious injury and possible death.

The film begins by showing a normal day in the life of Nathan Caine, how he has to blend his food because he can’t eat solids for fear of biting off his own tongue without knowing it, how he has systems and guard rails all over his house and work like bumpers on his work desk, and he is an extremely cautious driver.

Nathan also rarely goes out, spending most of his time online gaming with his friend, Roscoe, played by Jacob Batalon in a very similar role to his Ned Leeds character, Spider-Man’s best bud in the Spidey franchise.

Which is why, after a very successful first date with his co-worker, Sherry, leads to Nathan throwing caution to the wind and choosing to not let his condition prevent him from living a relatively normal life. Amber Midthunder gives a wonderfully enchanting performance as Sherry, by the way.

Both of their lives are upended by the aforementioned seemingly random robbery of the bank they work at.

What follows is one of the best, brutal, and torturous film experiences (for both Nathan and the viewer) I have thoroughly endured AND enjoyed in a long time. The absolutely lunatic punishment poor Nathan Caine sustains just increases as the film progresses and regardless of whether or not he has the inability to feel pain, the “what continuingly escalating horrible things can we do to this dude as the film progresses” becomes absolutely unhinged. Also the audience who, I am assuming, DOES feel pain, unless they are a sadistic sociopath, will gasp and groan with sympathy pains for the excruciating things exacted upon Caine throughout his efforts to save Sherry.

I was this audience member.

I felt every hit, bone crunch, stab, burn, and bullet wound, for him because he couldn’t. The sympathy pain is real in this film.

Jack Quaid completely sells it too.

His brand of hapless everyman turned reluctant hero is exactly what makes this picture so good. He really doesn’t want to be in these situations and lets you know it but his love for Sherry keeps him driving forward into worse and worse situations. It really made me question whether I’d endure the same thing for another person.

Spoiler alert: I would.

I don’t know if calling this film “fun” says more about me than I’d really like to admit to the public, but what the hell. Novocaine was fun as hell and exactly what I needed to see in the Hellscape of a life we are being subjected to on a day to day basis.

This film is 100% a turn off your brain and enjoy the insane ride the filmmakers have set up for us to go on.

Big kudos to writer Lars Jacobson and duel directors, Dan Berk and Robert Olsen. All three whose previous work I am completely unaware of at this time. This seems to be all of their first major Hollywood work. The stunts are incredible, and the effects are well achieved. Sure the story is almost non-existent other than the basic guy falls in love with girl, girl gets taken, guy saves girl while literally destroying his body. Pepper in some pretty solid humor, outrageous action sequences, and body torture and you have the perfect for a date night film with your sweetie.

I am sure there will be a sequel if this film does well but I kind of hope not. I like the “one off” nature of this story. It has a nice beginning, middle, and end.

I don’t need another John Wick style franchise where every subsequent film in the franchise basically ups the ante of what the audience will believe the human body can survive. Novocaine already begins at an “11”. Any sequel films will just become an exponentially increasingly unrealistic cartoon video game to the point where this franchise becomes an action film version of the Faces of Death films.

Although.. That might be amazing in and of itself… No, No, No…

Go give Novocaine some love and enjoy the film that really should have been called “The Brutalist.”

I know I sure as hell did.

*  *  *  *  *  *
Produced by Joby Harold, Tory Tunnell,
Drew Simon, Julian Rosenberg, Matt Schwartz
Written by Lars Jacobson
Directed by Dan Berk, Robert Olsen
Starring Jack Quaid, Amber Midthunder, Ray Nicholson,
Jacob Batalon, Betty Gabriel, Matt Walsh