The Nose of a Toaster

There are two different species of sentient toasters.

This seems a very odd statement if you think of toasters as being man-made objects, but sentient toasters are different from the man-made things we are used to seeing in our homes and stores, because sentient toasters have eyes, mouths, simple ambulatory abilities and most importantly, minds.

They are, after all, sentient.

Example of a “normal” or non-sentient toaster

The first sentient toaster was Milton, a spokesman for Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts in the late 1960’s and 70’s.

Milton was always cracking wise, and truly believed in the importance of Pop-Tarts as part of a complete breakfast. Note that the toast lever on Milton is his nose.

His face would change shape as Pop-Tarts finished warming inside him and his nose raced to the top of his face with a pop.

Brave, as I call him, used the toasting handles as clumsy stubby hands, and had no nose at all.

His mouth and eyes was simply built into the side of his body. Whereas Milton hopped about slightly, Brave waddled awkwardly on his tiny legs. Still, despite his physical limitations, Brave traveled a great distance to find his master.

Milton, by contrast, served his corporate masters, Kellogg’s.

Perhaps Milton can use his nose as a hand, like the elephants of Africa and India. Perhaps Brave lacks the ability to detect scents.

What more can be said, really, about sentient toasters?