So far, I’ve more or less stayed in that lane, but there are some things that even I can’t really hate.
And with all of the recent furor surrounding one of those things, I decided it’s time to revisit my love for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
And yes, I said Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles, not Alien Ninja Turtles or just Ninja Turtles. Michael Bay’s upcoming reboot of the franchise has been discussed with much vigor–and in many fan quarters, venom–over the past couple of months.
There are certain things that have to happen regarding the Ninja Turtles, and while some of these details have and can change, one thing shouldn’t and can’t: four baby turtles have to get doused in mutagenic ooze and grow into human-sized intelligent mutants obsessed with pizza and trained in martial arts by a mutated rat who names them after his favorite Renaissance painters. It’s a tale (almost) as old as time.
Meanwhile, Bay’s version would see the Turtles reimagined as aliens, and you can see why the fanbase rebels against that.
However we choose to remember them.
Co-creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird conceived the Turtles as a satirical take on the “grim ‘n’ gritty” era of comics (and specifically Frank Miller’s Daredevil and Ronin), as well as the popularity of all things “mutant,” given the success of X-Men and New Mutants at the time.
The hype was worth it–the show was great, and having watched the first episodes again a few years back, I can say that they still hold up. It’s a fun action cartoon no matter when you’re watching it or how old you are. (And it blows my mind that sitcom hack Chuck Lorre wrote the classic, still awesome theme song.)
The cartoon began in syndication in 1987, but was picked up by CBS in 1990, becoming a Saturday morning fixture until 1996–after a dreadful last couple of seasons which saw the show lose its trademark sense of humor and become dreadfully dark and dull.
During that time, there were multiple comic series (the original Mirage Comics title and a second title published by Archie that would split off from the animated continuity and develop its own surprisingly deep mythos), video games (a few of which are almost universally beloved), and even an album and concert tour.
The crux of the show was that the Turtles became rock musicians, and alongside April O’Neil and Splinter, fought a Shredder (whose costume was so laughably terrible) who plotted to eliminate all music. There was an accompanying cassette, sold at fine Pizza Huts everywhere. I wore that out, singing along to songs like “Coming Out of Our Shells,” “Sing About It,” “Tubin'” and “Walk Straight,” and annoying my dad by playing it in the car so much.
Unless you saw them being interviewed by Barbara Walters.
However, if I had to choose one bit of TMNT to call a favorite, it would be the first movie. Not only do I consider it one of the finest comic book to film adaptations, I also consider it one of my absolute favorite movies.
For a time, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was the highest grossing film released by an independent studio (New Line). It definitely had huge hype leading up to its release, on the backs of the cartoon and toys. Amongst my friends and everyone else I knew, it was the most awaited movie of 1990.
And it was so good!
It still is. I have just about all of it memorized.
“You want a fist in the mouth? I’ve never even looked at another guy before!”
“Fight?”
“Fight.”
“Kitchen?”
“Kitchen.”
The essence of the property is still there. Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo live in the sewers with their sensei/father figure Splinter, secretly protecting New York from crime, when their secret existence is compromised thanks to their rescue of reporter April O’Neil (skewing towards the animated version, rather than the lab assistant from the comics).
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles really is a well-done family actioner, which is more than I can say for the lesser sequels.
After the original animated series left airwaves in 1996, the property cooled for a while. Saban developed a live-action series in 1997 called Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation–which is rightly derided and in some cases forgotten. The Turtles spent the bulk of the ’90s as a nostalgic afterthought, until 4Kids Entertainment revived the brand in 2003 with a new animated series, which is pretty good in its own right.


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