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MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – ROGUE NATION (review)

Review by Benn Robbins
Produced by Tom Cruise, J. J. Abrams, 
Bryan Burk, David Ellison, 
Dana Goldberg, Don Granger
Screenplay by Christopher McQuarrie
Story by Christopher McQuarrie, Drew Pearce
Based on Mission: Impossible by Bruce Geller
Directed by Christopher McQuarrie
Starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, 
Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, 
Ving Rhames, Sean Harris, Alec Baldwin

The latest installment in the inconceivable and indistinguishable movie series about the Impossible Missions Force finds Tom Cruise and company embroiled, yet again, in mystery and intrigue and deceit surrounding a mysterious shadow group a “Rogue Nation”, if you will, that have been responsible for every major world crisis in recent history.

They are the “anti” IMF. I know this because they actually tell me in the film, in case I wasn’t paying attention in between explosions or death defying stunts.

Writer/Director Christopher McQuarrie has finely crafted a tale so convoluted and crazy, that at certain points, I so glazed over that I had no idea what I was watching.

The strange thing was that I still had no problem following the inane plot no matter how many red herrings and McGuffins were thrown at me as I tuned out here and there.

It is action-packed and mindless.

It is also boring as hell.

This is definitely a “stick your brain and every shred of disbelief in a sock and sit on it” while munching on a large popcorn and slurping your 58oz soda.

M:I – RN isn’t quite Michael Bay bad but it definitely isn’t Mad Max: Fury Road either.

And I love Michael Bay.

It amazes me so much that Tom Cruise has perfected playing Tom Cruise to such a degree that I am convinced that there is no Tom Cruise. There is just TOM CRUISE as a character. He is no longer Tom Cruise the human. He is Tom Cruise the TOM CRUISE. This movie, like his previous 32 films showcases this to perfection.

I think the weird thing about this film, much like Terminator: Genisys and Jurassic World, I didn’t hate it. I mean, I feel like I should have. This film is predictable and a by the books, twisty-turny action thriller that at no point had me guessing at ANYTHING. It offers nothing new and the only interesting thing about it is watching how they are going to outdo the previous stunt or unbelievable action sequence.

But not in a good way.

I mean, what comes after unbelievable?

In fact, The one thing that is amazing to me is that with each film in this series they have found a way to “up the ante” with the “big stunt” that Mr. Cruise is to perform in each film. From the wire drop sequence in the first film to this films high water dive into basically a giant high-powered toilet-looking water-cooling unit.

Basically, the problem is that with each film the filmmakers of this series fall deeper and deeper into the James Bond of the late 90’s early 2000’s hole. They become so over the top that the amount of suspension of disbelief required makes the rest of the film moot or worse ridiculous. Once you have invisible cars, inexplicable tech that can to literally everything, characters that can survive insane car crashes and outrun bullets, nothing else matters.

There is no real threat because no one is really in danger.

Ever.

So what is the point?

The Mission: Impossible series, some may argue, started out with that as it’s baseline. After all they are Impossible Missions Force. They can do anything. But this film and it’s previous four incarnations may have surpassed the limits of action films and come full circle from exciting to boring mediocrity.

I think that is the one thing I take away from this film.

I can’t believe, with all the action and stunts and crazy fights and explosions and crashes, just how utterly non-plussed I was watching this.

I sat back with my hands folded as if I was watching a boring industrial film or awful training video for Starbucks.

I had literally seen every single thing in this film done better in another film.

Yet, and here is the kicker. I didn’t hate it. Have I become THAT guy that has set the bar so low that this banal, used gag, action Walmart passes in my book?

I don’t know; I can’t explain it.

All I can say is BRING ON TOP GUN 2: THE RETURN OF “GOOSE.

I hope to god that a Tony Scott-less Top Gun sequel will renew my love for the actor with the “Million-Dollar Smile”.

Go see Mad Max: Fury Road again. It should be playing in a theater near you still.

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