Misguided Music: A Look At Terrible Tunes With Good Intentions

As “Do They Know It’s Christmas” get a modern makeover by trading in Julian Lennon, Tom Hadley and Boy George for Rita Ora and that guy from Elbow, it is interesting to remember how the ‘80s and early ‘90s gave birth to the idea of supergroups.  These large group projects would consist of dozens of music industry talent who have banded together for a good cause in an effort to bring attention and much needed donations to a good cause.

Supergrounds like USA for Africa and Band Aid brought in millions to help people who were unable to help themselves.

But like many trends, the era of the supergroup was soon beaten into the ground by people with good intentions and not much else.

Good causes were soon forgotten, but the God-awful crooning of giant megagroups will stay with the masses for years to come.

Here is a look at a few fails that continue to haunt YouTube.

“Yakety Yak Take It Back”
ORGANIZATION OR TRAGIC EVENT IT HURT: Take It Back Foundation
GUILTY PARTIES: MC Skat Kat, Bugs Bunny, Tone Loc, Al B. Sure, Ozzy Osbourne

As part of National Recycling Day, this atrocity to the legacy of superbands featured  megastars like “Opposites Attract” star MC Skat Kat and a drug-fueled Ozzy in a message on recycling.
Watching the video is like revisiting a repressed memory. Enjoy.

“Knocking On Heaven’s Door”
ORGANIZATION OR TRAGIC EVENT IT HURT: The 1996 Dunblane school massacre
GUILTY PARTIES: Ted Christopher

In 1996, 16 schoolchildren and one teacher were brutally murdered by fuckhead Thomas Hamilton in one of the most horrific firearm incidents in UK history.

They deserved better than this video. 

The video is a montage of images of slain children while news clips about the massacre are played on top of a cover of the classic Bob Dylan song, which sounds like it was shrieked by someone who only recently had his hearing restored. 

“Ferry ‘Cross The Mersey”
ORGANIZATION OR TRAGIC EVENT IT HURT: The Hillsborough Disaster Fund
GUILTY PARTIES: Paul McCartney, other people from Liverpool who weren’t Paul McCartney

Originally recorded in the ‘60s by Gerry and the Pacemakers, the song was retooled to aid the 96 people killed and almost 800 injured during the FA Cup semi-final match between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest football clubs.

A tragic event deserve a little better from Sir Paul and his merry band of do-gooders than a mediocre cover song.

“Stars”
ORGANIZATION OR TRAGIC EVENT IT HURT: The Children Of The Night
GUILTY PARTIES: Hear N’ Aid: made up of the Gods of Metal: Dio, Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, Judas Priest, Dokken, Iron Maiden, possibly Satan himself. Oh, and Spinal Tap. Fuck. Yeah.

Led by Ronnie James Dio, the monsters of metal all converged on a single location in Van Nuys to record a song meant to benefit runaways. However, delayed release of the single stopped the monster rock tune from making any significant impact.

Also, the song wasn’t that great, possibly because of the thousands of guitar solos that were crammed into seven-minute song.

“Tears Are Not Enough”
ORGANIZATION OR TRAGIC EVENT IT HURT: Famine relief
GUILTY PARTIES: Northern Lights, which was made up of all Canadian singer-songwriters like Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Paul Shaffer and, for some reason, half the cast SCTV.

A synth nightmare of a tune that was no doubt the main inspiration for “We’re Sending Our Love Down the Well” from The Simpsons.

The video is chock full of random Canadians (sorry, I am greatly lacking in Great White North pop culture knowledge) standing in small groups while singing into a microphone, until the end, when all the performers united in the ultimate stand, using their great sea of mullets, grey beards and sweaters to fight hunger.