MACHETE KILLS (review)

Review by Clay N Ferno

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is back, baby and with a blade to kill for in the most ridiculous movie you can strap on this fall.

An all-star cast includes Charlie Sheen somehow referencing his Dad’s stint on The West Wing as the President.  The ‘Winning’ actor is all Tiger Blood and more in the role with self referential zeal, billed as “Carlos Estevez.”

Trejo steals the romp with a steely glance, and iron constitution. An action comedy like no other, the second film in the Machete franchise might not be worth a special trip to the theatre, but as a matinee or a RedBox rental, you really can’t go wrong. This has just about everything: girls, guts, helicopters, speed boats, explosions, strap-on weapons and a hero that only needs one weapon — his name!

Robert Rodriguez starts off the film with a Barbarella/Moonraker mock commercial preview for what has been announced as the next film in the franchise, Machete Kills Again … In Space. We’re a few years away from that, but after nailing movie two with this earthbound Mexican/American conflict we might be ready for his take on 70s space camp.

The players are in place, partner Luz (Michele Rodriguez) is just as alive and tough to kill as Machete at the end of this film, though the result of the bloody military vs. cartel shootout at the beginning of the movie might make you think differently.

Machete Kills opens on the Arizona / Mexico border, where a giant wall has been constructed to curb immigration.

Our hero survives a hanging and is granted a Presidential pardon after the aforementioned shootout. President Rathcock (Sheen) teams up Machete with secret agent Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard) to “Go Kick Some Ass” south of the border, targeting the split personality Mendez (Demián Bichir).

Mendez has a rocket aimed at the U.S., and only Machete with his new tri-blade namesake weapon can stop him.

Along the way of course are many twists and challengers such as Chameleon (Cuba Gooding Jr.), rocket scientist Luthor Voz (Mel Gibson), and the fully weaponized Madame Desdemona (Sofía Vergara).

When attention goes from Mendez to the mastermind Voz as the main foil, we’re brought to a futuristic lab with space blasters, space machetes, and Gibson’s character showing his Star Wars fanboy colors by driving around in a Landspeeder golf cart as he attempts to woo Machete to the Dark Side.

The third act shows the return of Luz with a vengeance with an underground Network at her disposal as the team goes after Voz — no holds barred.

Rodriguez has given us an hilarious self referential parody of the action movie genre not seen since the first in the series, and before that perhaps only 2008’s Tropic Thunder can compare.

Like collaborator Tarantino’s tributes to certain genres, this movie takes the ridiculousness of 1980s gems Zucker and Abrahams movies Airplane! and Top Secret, and combines this with purposely bad CGI, head rolls, explosions and oh so much blood splatter.

Subtitles and onscreen text overlays punctuate the film much like the ‘Hugo Stiglitz’ shout out title in Inglourious Basterds.

Machete Kills is certainly worth a chance, even if only curious as to what Gibson and Sheen are up to these days. Looks like anything can become a franchise these days, so check out the sequel to the movie based on a fake trailer!

If there are any remaining questions about Danny Trejo as Machete kicking ass, I’m sure a face to face meeting can be arranged!