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I Got Four Little Words For You: “Shame On You, Amy”

Much ado was made about how Amy Sherman-Palladino would have ended Gilmore Girls had she been given the chance. And, as fans know, she had stated that she had four little words in mind to end the show since the early days.

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Well, in-fighting and drama outside of the script had poor little Amy leaving the show with an early exit, so she didn’t get to use her four little words idea, much to the dismay of fans everywhere

But then, almost a decade last, Netflix swooped in a saved the day. Nay, saved the year! Saved what looked to be a shitty, terrible festering year the way only the Gilmores can! And fans were finally graced with those four little words and an ending the way that Sherman-Palladino wanted.

SPOILERS!  SPOILERS!  SPOILERS!  SPOILERS!  SPOILERS!  SPOILERS!

endgg

“Mom?”
“Yeah”
“I’m pregnant.”

Really?

Might I suggest a few other possible four-word entries:

Are you fucking kidding?
We deserve better, Palladino.
Talk about cheap shots.
It makes no sense.
That was uncalled for…

If you like, feel free to use them all together into a giant haiku of suck if you like. My gift to you.

These four little words are an atrocious affront to the legacy of Gilmore Girls. Up until then, the whole revival was pretty fun. Far from perfect, but I was willing to forgive a lot because A Year in the Life gave a lot.

I was willing to forgive Lane’s terrible haircut, lack of backstory and complete 180 turn on all her goals and dreams because I loved the seeing Hep Alien perform with Gil and Brian.

lane

I was willing to forgive the ten years the musical took off my life because it gave me Carole King inside jokes.

I got a second film from Kirk. I got Michele, both news of his husband and hints of his age. I got to see the inner workings of the Stars Hollow Gazette. I got Kirk at Friday night dinner. I got Miss Patty again. I got Morrey again. I got Caesar. I got Gypsy. I got Taylor and Dean and, God help me, even Jess. I even got a glimpse of the ever elusive Mr. Kim.

kirk

I got Paris. Wonderful, wonderful Paris. Crazy ranting, super successful doctor-lawyer fertility clinic owning mother-of-two Paris. A Paris who can terrify a class of Chilton upper grades but carry an empty briefcase for security. Watching her kick a bathroom door close in an overpriced pump was a thing of beauty.

I got a mother-daughter bonding moment between Lorelai and Emily, much needed after the heartbreaking passing of Richard Gilmore. After years of bickering back and forth, that moment of understanding between the Emily and Lorelai both helped with the healing and was a great tribute to Edward Hermann.

And more importantly, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life gave me lots of Emily. Lots and lots of Emily. An Emily who can cuss and move freely thru an unfiltered Netflix universe of unlimited money and sets, and for that, I am forever grateful.

3gg

But my happiness came at a price.

In return for a free Emily, I got a Rory who seemed to far from the mature 15-year-old we met in the pilot episode. Who is this 32-year-old asshole who sleeps with other woman’s fiancee’s and is bad with money? Who can’t plan for the future and doesn’t prepare for a job interview? This Rory seemed so far from the girl from Star Hollow that we all fell in love with and so much more like the DAR volunteer, Yale dropout from the sixth season that I despised.

The Gilmores were never the greatest girls. Funny, yes. But not great people. Look at how they treat men. And it seems that over the years, they only got worse. Rory is sleeping with Logan, who is engaged to the unseen Odetta. Both are okay with it, as Rory is dating Paul (who she calls Pete), because both are hell spawn.

logan

It appears that over the years, Rory went from shy and timid to a full-fledged bitch homewrecker. I have only ever seem Odetta from the back, but already I sympathize with her more than I do Rory.

Now, back to the four words:

Rory is pregnant by Logan (or by a one night stand with a Wookiee that was hastily written into the script to show Rory is having a meltdown). Logan is engaged. Rory is dating someone else at the time. They didn’t use protection because even though they both went to Yale, they forgot how babies are made.

So, the series ends with Rory getting pregnant by an awful person. Hopeful, Emily will have a hand in raising this one and she’ll end up okay. Or it will be a boy.

gg2

But let’s say Amy Sherman-Palladino got her way and the series ended when Rory was 22 with these four little words. All of her hard work, her growth, it would have been all for naught. She wouldn’t have been able to hit the road with president-to-be Barry, or live in Brooklyn with that sticky wall, or travel the world and gather life experiences.

Instead, she would have been a footnote in the Stars Hollow Gazette, like her mother was.

Four little words. A cute idea in theory, but terrible in execution.

Unless you went with Scott Patterson’s idea: “Drop the gun, Kirk.”

 

 

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