FINAL GIRL (review)

Review by Marla Singer

When first we meet sweet, little Veronica (Gracyn Shinyei), she’s being interviewed by mystery man William (Wes Bentley), and it’s quickly clear that Veronica is “special.”

Simply by completing a maze and describing her childhood home in great detail, it becomes clear to William that she has an aptitude to become a soft-spoken blonde who can throw some good punches and walk on rocks.

Which is where we find Veronica 12 years later portrayed by Abigail Breslin.

Breslin, I’m afraid, is a little lackluster and unconvincing as a clever, shrewd, ass-kicker.

But a lot of that has less to do with her performance and far more to do with boring cinematography and shallow script. Her younger self was a far more interesting character but was held to the very short exposition.

Twelve years later, we are hoping for a top notch secret agent with Neo-like kung-fu abilities. Instead, she seems more like a deer in headlights half the time. Bentley, as the Morpheus to her timid-Neo, plays cool and emotionless fairly well though we still don’t know for a bit exactly what these years of training have been like or for.

Consistent to the rushed exposition we’re used to, we cut to four guys a la Barry Levinson’s Diner who seem to be besties, like wearing tuxedos for no reason… and killing blonde girls. Jameson (Alexander Ludwig), is their loathsome ringleader and you don’t need to know much beyond that. He isn’t likeable and that’s just fine.

It’s worth noting (warning?) that as Danny, Logan Huffman may or may not be channeling Buster Poindexter.

For a reason never explained, Veronica is tasked by William to play victim in the blonde-hunt and cure the world of this psychopathic fraternity.

Does she succeed? Well, not at being intimidating or making a proper fist…

Yet somehow through all this… strangeness, the movie somehow remains watchable until the last ten minutes or so when it gets a little too far out (I’ll just ask this: What is he hanging from?! Why isn’t she getting wet?!).

While it’s not over-the-top enough to be campy and not well constructed enough to be thrilling or scary, Final Girl is certainly not boring and at the very least, the lack of thorough exposition and character detail leave you curious, which is perhaps what drove me through the film.

And by the way, I do not mind close-ups on Wes Bentley’s face.

For reals.