CRYING WOLF (review)

Review by Joshua Gravel

The IMDB synopsis of Crying Wolf states: “The comedy horror Crying Wolf tells the story of strange and weird goings on in a little English village called Deddington. The gruesome death of local girl Charlotte by a rabid monster causes alarm and revulsion – before desperate reporters, crazy detectives and revenge seeking hunters descend on the scene!” 
Well I’m sorry synopsis author, “Crying Wolf Ltd”, but no wonder your film is shit given your inability to even write a competent synopsis.

So the death of Charlotte and the reporters make up a few minutes at the beginning and end of the movie, while the bulk of this story is a ginormous flashback about a pack of pop-up Halloween store costume wearing werewolves on a fucking camping trip.

Not only is the bulk of this film a flashback; but it’s told in a haphazard format.  A detective is reading about them in an old fashioned leather bound book, that looks like it’s a hundred years old, but all of the events that he’s reading took place in the recent past.  Plus, there is no way any character in the damn story could have written this book because the fucking flashback is full of asides and tangents that no author could possibly know all of.

Crying Wolf is a horror comedy that is not funny or scary, nor is it well made in any respect. It looks blandly shot, while the over abundance of CGI special effects are anything but special and what little practical effects do exist in the film are so horribly over lit to the point of making them all look like cheap store bought costumes. The writing is a mess as all jokes fall flat and most of the characters are entirely forgettable as is much of the story.

IMDB also has this movie listed under the title Crying Wolf 3D, I am at least thankful that I did not have to view this in what must be a horrible headache inducing 3D.

And if you are drawn in to watching this because it touts Caroline Munroe as its star, be warned that her entire appearance consists of a few minutes of screen time as the clerk at a bookstore and that is all.

Don’t bother wasting you time with Crying Wolf, as there is no entertainment to be found not even in making fun of it. The promotion touts Crying Wolf as being from the director of DEADTIME and Zombie Harvest, well now we all know not to watch those either.