Crushing It: A Hopeful Romance Flashback

This week, romance is in the air!  I had a great run of luck with some of the single ladies that have just been released from the Central California Women’s Facility – who knew showing up with a box of menthols and a car works so well!

So this article will be on past crushes – real, fake, real fake… the only real requirement is it shares the geeky essence that we all know and love on Forces of Geek.

The first section will be mine, and the second will cover the female side by my guest contributor, Hope LaVille.

Please note, the numbers are in no particular order; so I’ll be goddamned if someone gives me slack on #3 being hotter than #2.

Let’s begin!

5) Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) from Raiders of the Lost Ark

She is smart, tough, and could handle her liquor better than most drunks I know.  I crushed so hard on her in my youth that I started to burnout the Raiders of The Lost Ark VHS that I got for Christmas one year.

Seriously, this woman is so awesome she could only settle down with one man – Indiana Jones.

4) Leeloo Dallas (Milla Jovovich) from The Fifth Element

She’s the ultimate redhead, ass-kicking cutie.  Plus, she was kinda-sort of nude in a PG-13 movie which was awesome.

I had such a crush on her that I dragged myself through every single Resident Evil movie, The Fourth Kind, AND The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc.

And by the way, not once does she say “Leeloo Dallas multi-pass” in any other film.  Not once!

3) That hot sales lady from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (Nicolette Scorsese)

This was really more lust than crush, but to this day when I see Chevy Chase, I get an uncomfortable feeling in the ol’ pants and I have to leave the room; doesn’t matter if it’s Caddyshack or Community. 

Don’t you DARE judge me.

2)  Jo Polniaczek (Nancy McKeon) from Facts of Life

Okay, here’s the thing: I’ve read all the theories involving her sexual orientation, and some stupid articles about her and a crush on Blair Warner, but I don’t care; she was a cute tomboy that rode a motorcycles!

1) Kora Zor-El AKA Supergirl (Helen Slater) from Supergirl

When I was much younger, I would have fantasies about her rescuing me from a burning building, then falling in love, then having our wedding officiated by He-Man (with Thomas Magnum as my best man).

There you have it – a collection of the most perfect crushes ever.

However, I felt we needed to get a female perspective.  So for that I’d like to introduce Hope LaVelle; someone that has forgotten more about comic cons, videogames, and fight choreography than I will ever know.

You can follow up with her on Instagram and her YouTube channel.  Now I’m turning the keyboard over to Hope.

Hey guys!  I’m pretty happy Charlie let me come on here.  He’s a good dude and apparently really into women wearing the pants in the relationship.  

Really Chuck? Jo Polniaczek AND Marion Ravenwood…?  

Anyway, here’s my list in no particular order:

5)  Hiro and Tadashi from Big Hero 6

These two brothers are SO cool; smart, funny, genuinely nice… how could you not crush on them.  PLUS, Baymax would be at your beck and call – how awesome would that be?

4)  Simon Pegg

Unlike Charlie with his weird fixation on the character and not the performer, I’m more of a follow-the-actor girl.  Simon Pegg is genuinely hilarious wherever he goes and seems like an amazing guy – plus I’m a sucker for English accents.

3) Elijah Wood

C’mon, who DIDN’T have a crush on America’s most adorable child actor turned Frodo from The Lord of the Rings?  Not only is he easy on the eyes, but a complex performer that’s career spans almost 20 years with a range from complete psychopath (Sin City) to troubled sweetheart (Wilfred).

2) Yuki Sohma (Fruits Basket)

Probably one of my first crushes, I know myself and the entire female population of Japan loves Yuki (and maybe some of those weird dudes with waifu “companion pillows”).  

I mean, c’mon: his nickname is “Prince Charming!”  Prince-friggen-charming!

1)  Benedict Cumberbatch

Like almost all of my red-blooded female friends, I fell in crush with the fresh-faced Englishman that played a perfect Sherlock Holmes.  Ah… that accent.  Those green/blue eyes.  That height… 

I’m looking forward to repeat viewing of Doctor Strange.

So there you have it!  Until next time and thanks, Hope!