“This life has been a test. If it had been an actual life, you would have received actual instructions on where to go and what to do.”
– Angela Chase
Ah, adolescence. For the most part, I enjoyed my pre-teen and high school years. I had a blast, made some life-long friends, and got some life experience. I hold many memories of this time fondly. I also never want or need to repeat it again. But damn, if some things don’t ring true with My So-Called Life that I love to keep revisiting.
I don’t know how this one overlooked television show in the mid-90s did it, but it captured the essence of being a teenager perfectly. I’ve heard today’s teenagers talk about it when they discover on Hulu (all episodes are on there for free!), and I hear 40-somethings rave about it when they watch it on DVD.
My So-Called Life premiered on ABC in fall 1994. Unfortunately for the series, it was programmed in the 8:00 p.m. slot on Thursday nights against another freshman show on NBC, some untried sitcom called Friends. We all know who won out.
MSCL wasn’t quippy. It wasn’t cute. There was no gloss over it like Beverly Hills, 90210. There was no audience laughter like Saved By the Bell. It was a predecessor to Dawson’s Creek, complete with soundtrack full of indie rock bands. It just felt earnest and sincere. And it lasted for all of 19 episodes, from August 1994 to May 1995.
I related to trying to look old enough when I was underage so I could get into a club. Or how to finagle a ride home because you were out with your friends and none of you told your parents where you really were. You could never get away with that today, what with cell phones and FourSquare.
And of course, MSCL contained the storyline of one of the best schoolgirl crushes, EVER.
Rickie: “It’s an obsession.”
Angela: “Right. And if you make it real, it’s not the same. It’s not, it’s not yours anymore. I don’t know, maybe I’d rather have the fantasy.”
How did creator Winnie Holzman remember that from her youth? That was one of those lines that you don’t realize how true it is until you actually hear it.
Angela’s on-again, off-again boyfriend, Jordan Catalano, is now one of those idealized love interests from pop culture that now rank up there with Jake Ryan and Lloyd Dobler. Sigh.
Indeed, there is just something about teenage daydreams that will never be surpassed by real life. And MSCL was able to capture that.
“Why are you like this?”
“Like how?”
“Like, how you are.”
I rarely hear sentences like this that actually say so much. But this exchange between Angela and Jordan is achingly simple. It’s made that much more interesting because there are two separate episodes where they say this to each other, but the lines are reversed according to the situation. You barely have any ability to articulate anything as a teenager, yet we can all understand it.
MSCL had the ability to make me cry nearly every week, and in a wonderfully cathartic way. It might have been an episode about Angela’s estranged friend, Sharon Churski, is dealing with her father having a heart attack. Or when Rickie Vasquez, who is probably the first homosexual teen I remember being portrayed on television, was beaten by his uncle right before Christmas.
It is also my opinion that this series contains the best performance of Claire Danes’ career to date: it was raw, innocent, natural and conflicted. She won a Golden Globe at age 15 for Best Actress in a Dramatic Television Series that year.
But MSCL was always on the verge of collapse due to low ratings. It’s ironic when you look back on it now, because right before it was cancelled, it averaged 17 million viewers per week. By way of comparison, the series finale of Lost had 13.5 million for the 18-49 demographic. But in 1994, it was no contest for NBC’s Must-See TV, which had over 30 million viewers. And that was a slow night.
In January 1995, a passionate fan named Steve Joyner put out full-page ads in Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, imploring fans to write to ABC to save the show. A grass roots movement called “Operation Life Support” started, one of the first campaigns to utilize that new-fangled thing called e-mail.
But it was not meant to be. Whether it was the lack of faith that the network had, or the fact that Claire Danes’ film career took off like a missile, season 2 didn’t happen.
Then MTV licensed the rights to re-run the whole series, and an extremely loyal audience started growing. Too little, too late. But bless the ancillary home viewing markets where the show lives on. Even Cameron Crowe has acknowledged his love for the show.
I saw my BFF recently and made mention of a guy I’d been dating, telling her how he’s “Jordan Catalano-ing” me. Translation for those who haven’t watched the show: in one episode, Jordan will happily make out with Angela in the boiler room, but refuses to acknowledge her existence at parties or in the school hallways. I don’t have to deal with schools or boiler rooms now, but indeed, some adult men can still behave that way. Then my BFF reminded me, “Yes, but at the end of that episode he takes her hand and walks down the hallway with her in front of everyone. That’s the best part.”
Some dynamics and archetypes never change, no matter how old you are. Sure, I’m much more likely to go out with a Brian Krakow now than a Jordan Catalano. You learn from those high school experiences. But MSCL will always speak to my inner 15 year-old girl.
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