I remember when Pokemon came to America. My Nintendo fanboy friend had been following the game in Nintendo Power and EGM and recommended it to me even before it came out. I got the Red version for Christmas that year, and played it more than any game in my life except for perhaps World of Warcraft or Final Fantasy VII. I was also the only kid at school who owned Red.
Needless to say, 2 B A Master was written about me.
Though Pokemon was a huge passion for me, I’ve lost interest in it, mainly because I’ve stopped buying handhelds. I realize now that I knew nothing of passion.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet JustinRPG.
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| This could be an Odd Future album cover. |
The Lowdown
JustinRPG (real name Justin Coolidge) is a 26 year-old man who claims to be married to the Pokemon Reshiram. This is made official on his Facebook and expressed in much of his artwork, stories, and music. However, he also considers himself married to many other fictional characters, seeming to have a particular thing for Rydia, a spellcaster from Final Fantasy IV. He says that these marriages are merely roleplay, but…
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| ‘Til KO do us part. |
It gets a even weirder than marriage. Check out this lighter section from a JustinRPG fanfic:
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| I wish I had a narrator for moments like these. |
Justin has numerous fetishes, namely a sexual attraction to Pokemon and coprophilia (read: poop.) However, his other artistic works hint at bestiality, vore (a fetish for being eaten), and submission. Justin is also a furry, though his actual furry activity is questionable.
Justin’s presence on the internet is pretty limited these days. After being discovered, he locked down his Facebook and closed his DeviantArt and FurAffinity accounts. His MySpace and Twitter have also become rather inactive. This runs counter to typical lolcow doctrine of feeding the trolls, and it is something that earns JustinRPG respect. Rather than giving the trolls what they want, Justin is content to simply keep doing his thing privately. As a result of his discovery, much of Justin’s milk is lost.
It is reasonable to assume that Justin is mentally handicapped in some way. For several years he attended the Behavioral Education Center in Bangor, MI, a school for students with “special physical, mental, or learning needs.” When he responded to trolls on 789chan, he claimed to have Asperger’s syndrome. He also apparently lived in a group home for a time.
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| Note that 789chan filters “sperg” to “person.” |
Whatever mental disability he has is not what makes him funny. The things he does make him funny, as there are plenty of nondisabled people who engage in similar antics. However, Asperger’s may explain some of his strange behavior.
The Milk
JustinRPG is not the subject of serious troll activity. Most attempts to troll him haven’t gone well. Usually, these attempts result in him simply saying he doesn’t want to be trolled and to leave him alone, then blocking the troll. However, he still supplies plenty of milk. Like our previous lolcow ADF, most of this milk comes in the form of his stories, artwork, and music.
The majority of Justin’s artistic works revolve around his marriage to Reshiram (who, it should be noted, is genderless in Pokemon canon.) He has written several songs and numerous stories about their relationship. Most of the stories are very graphic and manage to work in all his bizarre fetishes. The songs combine simple, badly sung lyrics with creepily mismatched instruments to produce a humorous, but truly unsettling experience.
Justin’s art is…interesting. Much of it revolves around the same themes as his songs and stories: coprophilia, giant animals, and Pokemon. His bad Photoshops of himself in the same pose into numerous pictures provide plenty of laughs.
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| POW! Right in the childhood. |
A particular highlight of Justin’s milk supply is his bizarre Facebook presence. This includes making groups where he talks about his desire to be pooped out by a bird and several Pokemon roleplay accounts that regularly interact with his own Facebook page. Of course, most of these groups are now deleted, and his own Facebook page is locked down tight.
Reading further into Justin’s stories, an armchair psychologist can see a lot of themes of domination. The Pokemon involved often take charge of the proceedings; for instance, in one, Justin is encouraged by Reshiram to swallow her…well, you know. In another, a Moltres sits on his face. Yes, a giant flaming bird sits on his face. And then defecates on it. See for yourself (warning: gross.)
The Big Picture
Where else but the internet could a person like JustinRPG exist? Where else would people notice him? Before he closed his accounts, DeviantArt and FurAffinity gave Justin a place to share his strange interests. If he had remained disconnected, it’s possible no one would have known the full extent of his passions.
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| I had to save the original file on my computer. You’re welcome. |
An interesting thing to consider is that perhaps the internet changes us. Is it possible that JustinRPG never considered himself aroused by Pokemon, or by feces, or by being eaten, until he discovered it on the internet? Would he even consider roleplaying Pokemon if there weren’t already huge Pokemon RP communities on Facebook? Would he share his songs with anyone if people in his actual life were unwilling to listen?
On the opposite side of the things, consider how reclusive Justin has become. His accounts, once open, are now locked down tight for fear of harassment. The internet may have made Justin realize that he is “weird,” that his interests are considered unacceptable. It has also let him indulge in these interests over and over again, which could weaken any desire he has to separate himself from them.
And in this way, the internet is both enabling and disabling. Other people like Justin exist: vore lovers, furries, and the like. But how do they congregate? Where can people so outside the realm of normality possibly come together in a normal world? That’s the thing: on the internet, there is no “normality.” Here the freaks come out. And by watching them, we become freaks too.
In that case, I’m pleased to announce that I am now married to Emma Stone.
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| God, I just want you to love me. |
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